Alarm: BEEP, BEEP.
Me: Snooze
Alarm: BEEEEEEEEP, BEEEEEEEEEP.
Me: Snooze – F%^& you!
Alarm: Get the hell out of bed, it’s 8:15am!
Me: Oh dear, I’m late.
I’m feeling so warm and cozy tucked in a protective fetus position under a caring blanket and a cuddling cover – why would I want to escape such a serene and Zen moment and enter into (pause) reality?
Me: Snooze!
As young professionals, we are generally faced with this situation five mornings a week, five depressing days a week, five miserable episodes a week. Sadly, we have seldom solutions allowing us to dodge that atrocious alarm clock and return into that peaceful and inoffensive state.
Sleeping has become a prominent activity in our lives, one that we enjoy dearly, but one that could also be responsible for life’s lack of progress and advancement. This is why, dear young professionals, I chose to write about this troubling topic and tell you you are not alone.
Why We Need Sleep
Biologically speaking, we apparently need eight hours of sleep… or at least that is what is recommended to us. However, as a true Montrealer, I find it rather troubling to fulfill these eight hours, and if I miraculously do, it’s just not enough! Here is why.
Montreal Winter = Alaska
Montreal winters are slowly transforming into Alaskan winters, which translate into an endless state of darkness. If it is not grey and cloudy, then it is dark and sad. A lack of sun, a deficiency of vitamin D, and a persistent depressing mood have highlighted a greater need to sleep and a desire to hibernate from the miserable conditions we face during half of the year.
Work
I do not believe this is Montreal specific issue, but our tremendously fast-paced workweeks have also created a greater obligation for more sleep. Coupled with miserable weather, the intense workweek not only tires us, but also introduces us to a routine we rarely enjoy, or rather one that we scorn upon. One of the few ways to forget about this undesirable obligation is to enter in a cozy, think-free sleep where worries are forgotten and a sense of nirvana is reached. Namaste.
Going Out
Given the miserable workweeks, we Montrealers compensate with continuous festivities expressed in 5 à 7, or in drinking abundance (another means to forget about life’s miseries). We excessively enjoy our endless outings that impede mainly on our sleep since work remains a fixed constant. Unfortunately this frequent overkill only widens the gate to sleep deprivation and amplifies the tight dependence on sleep.
Exercising
Finally, many Montrealers hit up the gym or join a sport to stay active thanks to constant propaganda (positive for once) to exercise and to be healthy. As explained by doctors and trainers, exercising should give us more energy. Although I do love to exercise and feel great when I do, I also require an extra hour of sleep for every hour of exercise. So this spiel about more energy is a load of false advertising! All this to say, we need more sleep!
Why We Need to Stop Sleeping
As much as sleep becomes our greatest lover, it could also become our greatest enemy. Why do I think that, you may wonder? Well, simply because the addiction to sleep digresses into an indulgent experience that snips time from more beneficial activities.
Work
Making it to work before 9:15am has become as difficult as climbing Mount Everest, and the truth is I am not even kidding! Continuous warnings to get to work early have been expressed to many of us, but those 15 additional minutes of sleep make a world of a difference to our happy selves – the early birds just don’t understand. On the flip side, arriving to work at eight and leaving early to enjoy our evenings would be a desirable goal that many wish to pursue, but that has become practically impossible. (Please refer to Why We Need Sleep section to understand the impossibilities of achieving this goal.)
Productivity
This established enslavement of sleep has also hindered on life’s productivity. Working on side projects, cleaning the house, seeing family or going on a morning jog have become replaced with sleeping. This genuine and passionate love for sleep unfortunately becomes overpowering and intense like one of these unhealthy love and hate relationships we’ve all certainly experienced. Sleeping becomes an addiction that we dream of continuously. But when we spend too much time sleeping, life transforms into regret, hurt, pain, and we realize we cut ourselves from everything else, including society and even our friends.
Losing Friends
As some of us graduate from singlehood to marriedhood to parenthood, schedules change and sleep schedules adjust to new lifestyles that are different from the rest. Unfortunately this new sleeping pattern not only exhausts people, but also breaks friendships. Brunch becomes breakfast, lunch becomes brunch, dinner also becomes brunch. The entire parenthood schedule, that is child compliant, does not match the ones of many of the young unmarried professionals. Alas friendships end.
Solution to a Fine Balance
As a victim of a passionate relationship with sleep, I cannot end this article without proposing a few solutions that may improve our bond with sleep and reclaim our society.
Winter Blue – Summer Pills
To avoid winter blues and to increase our level of energy and escape hibernation, a steady dose of Vitamin D should be consumed. Better yet, instead of taking pills daily, I would highly suggest we replace the useless flu shot with a Vitamin D shot. This should become a mandatory injection for the greater good and efficiency of society. This Vitamin D happy and energy-filled vaccine could also be timed on December 15th along with the winter tire change deadline. “Install Your Winter Tires and Take Your Vitamin D Vaccine. Keep Québec Safe and Productive – brought to you by le gouvernement du Québec.”
Mandatory Week Off in February
In addition to these mandatory Vitamin D vaccines, le gouvernement du Québec should also make it compulsory to take a week off in February (the most depressive and sleep-required month) to a warm destination “dans le sud.” Furthermore, le gouvernement du Québec should subsidize the complete amount of our vacation. We pay enough taxes as it is, it is time we seize the benefits.
Work Schedule
Instead of us adapting to work, I strongly believe work should adapt to us. Instead of beginning a day of labour at eight or nine in the morning, it should simply start at 10 or 10:30 and end at four. I have no further points to add to this section.
Future Decisions
This next recommendation is not really a solution, but rather a consideration that I strongly believe people need to tackle. If your love for sleep is your priority, if it is a relationship you wish not to unsettle, then dear young professional, you need to ponder on the following:
– Choose a significant other with the same love for sleep. This synergetic threesome will only balance your relationship and reduce your chances of break-ups or divorce.
– Contemplate lengthily about having kids. This new addition will surely destroy your oath with sleep. Either have them and assume the consequences, or live with your parents or in-laws and have their sleep bond suffer. Or maybe you simply need to give your children sleeping pills (for the record, I am joking).
However you want to treat your relationship with sleep, remember: It’s all about compromise and communication.
Top photo courtesy Lifehacker.com.au
Work image: Ryan Ritchie