To tell or not to tell? That is the age-old question when it comes to dishing the dirty details of your dating life to your friends, co-workers and, perhaps, anyone else who will listen. Within our group of beloved girlfriends, we know way too much about the good, bad and ugly dating encounters of some and, surprisingly, very little about those of others, who otherwise aren’t shy ladies. Personally, whether we dish the details or not depends on the situation, person and presence of a trusted ear. There needs to be something worthy of discussion in the first place, or it’s not even worth the effort of telling the story during in those precious moments of already limited quality time with friends. We asked young professionals from across the country to share their insight on whether they kissed and told. Here is what they had to say:
“I am not such a big kisser and teller. Or, should I say, I never used to be. I do find it kind of amateurish. But to be honest, as time goes on and my friends continue to get married/have kids and become one-woman men, they want to live vicariously through me and hear my dating/sex stories, etc. Whether you tell does, however, depend on the person you are kissing. If I like them and/or have respect for them, I won’t tell my friends out of that same respect. But if not, it’s fair game.”
– Male, 33, communications.
“Most certainly we dish out the goods! Why wouldn’t you? Your girlfriends are meant to be your soundboards for everything going on in your life (at least for my group of gals) and the trust you get from good girlfriends is like nothing else. So yes, we dish it out and never hold back any juicy detail. Girls (I think) are known for kissing and telling, but I have met a couple gentleman that like to spill the beans…. overall though I would have to say the ladies take the cake. I have heard my share of hilarious encounters. I think the worst story I have EVER heard was that of a guy who used hair gel as lube. Talk about a sticky situation!”
– Female, 26, publishing.
“If a kiss is not written across your lips, it’s not worth telling. You don’t need words when your smitten face says it all. If my kissing partner’s name comes up in conversation, I can’t control the hue of my face or the up curl of my mouth. Based on this, I’m a very guilty kisser and teller.”
– Female, 33, writer.
“I can’t speak for everyone, but I don’t think I know anyone who doesn’t kiss and tell. I guess it could be because all of my friends are very actively dating like it is a sport, not taking it too seriously, and almost, at times, for the very purpose of exchanging stories with the guys. With that said, guys are less inclined to discuss the details of their sex lives when they are in a relationship – but they still love to hear your stories!”
– Male, 29, finance.
“Chicks and guys tell their friends everything – especially those who frequently date. For me, there are two different kinds of dates. Well, depends on the girl. I had a few fairly charged up physical encounters with a girl I was dating. I told my best friend about them. I ended up starting to seriously date this girl, so I ended up telling her how I shared this info with my friend, and she didn’t mind at all. She was kind of proud of it, actually. And that’s a strange situation – because if I’m dating someone seriously, I won’t share details. That’s private and I want to respect our intimacy.”
– Male, 30, film.
“I do think girls gossip much more than men about their experiences, kisses, one night stands, etc. Especially in our modern society, where there is less shame for a woman to be sexually active, especially as we get older, it becomes less of a big deal to discuss, but rather to use for entertainment.”
– Female, 28, social media.
“Whether I share details depends on whether or not it is casual. It’s a respect thing. If I like someone and feel a connection, I am going to respect her and not divulge. The most I’ll say is ‘I met this really great person’. If it’s random, I have no remorse. I’ll tell. It’s a great conversation piece over beers with my buddies”.
– Male, 30, hospitality
“We always have the best intentions going into these kinds of things… ‘I’m an adult and I can have an encounter and keep it to myself,’ we say. To this day, I haven’t been able to keep a single hook-up to myself. This isn’t because I’m a gossip. I like to think that it’s just me providing the good stories that every friendship requires. I typically only tell my two closest friends, and while I do share every detail, I wouldn’t consider this to be breaking the code of silence (let’s not pretend he hasn’t told his best buddies). Everyone tells someone. It’s human nature. This becomes a problem when one of those ‘Someones’ also tells someone. Like the time I told one of my closest friends (or so I thought), about a scandalous encounter I’d had, and she shared it with some of her colleagues, who happened to know my partner-in-crime. This is when telling becomes a problem; when it turns into office gossip. Next thing I knew, I was fielding questions from Mr. Blank about who I told. And this is where your ‘sharing a story with a friend’ becomes a betrayal and grounds for a break-up. So be very careful who you trust. Better yet, get a dog/cat and tell them all of your scandalous stories.” or shameful, I will share my friend’s story”.
– Female, 24, advertising
“Honestly, it depends how good it was. If it was extremely good or bad, it’s likely going to be told at a cocktail party. I am personally guilty of ‘changing the name’ to protect the innocent… the innocent being me. If it’s super embarrassing or shameful, I will share my friend’s story”.
– Female, 25, communications
