This Winter is 100% Going to Be Hell and Spring May Never Come

Enjoy these last few decent days because your near future is bleak.

According to the Canadian Famers’ Almanac, a more reliable weather source than your iPhone, winter across Canada this year will go back to its roots as a major obstacle to enjoying life in an otherwise fantastic country.

“Exceptionally cold–if not downright frigid–winter weather will predominate over parts of the Rockies, Prairies, Great Lakes, Ontario, Quebec, and the Maritime Provinces. Newfoundland and Labrador are expected to be cold and flaky,” writes the Almanac. B.C., meanwhile, will revel in usual mildness.

A visualization of your impending doom:


But wait, it’s gets worse! Winter is expected to start abnormally early this year and temperatures as low as 40 below zero will be making an appearance in mid-February over the eastern three-quarters of Canada.

Start booking some flights, people.