“The Secret of Attraction is to Love Oneself” – Deepak Chopra
There are many factors that influence attraction. The prettiest people can quickly become ugly once their personalities are revealed and many people can be attractive for reasons well beyond his or her physical appearance. So, what are the factors that influence attraction? What catches your eye from across the room and makes you want to be around people?
Appearance
Let’s be honest: Our initial impressions, before the other person opens his or her mouth, are physical appearance. Appearance is everything from the natural beauty that you may have been blessed with to clothing and the way you carry yourself. Some people deviate very little from what they are attracted to and do in fact have very specific “types.” One YP girlfriend has never dated a blonde guy in all her dating history. Another YP male has a history of dating tiny, petite girls despite his quarterback-like stature. Sometimes, however, you may be physically attracted to certain things, like a pair of piercing eyes or the way someone moves, that may inspire deviation from your typical “type.”
Personal Positivity
People like to be around positive people, not people who bring us down. Positive energy is contagious and can be detected from across a crowded room. Young professionals at parties who are positive give off an energy and positive vibe that naturally draws people to them, whether for a business introduction, casual banter or romantic intention. Being positive involves being in the moment; not glued to your smart phone at events and not letting certain heartache or stress from your personal life or job affect your demeanour. Look for the positive and good in every situation, good or bad. Positive people tend to see dating and relationships from an optimistic perspective, and that does not go unnoticed by potential romantic interests.
Security and Confidence
This is nothing new, but we see young professionals lose sight of this all too often. At the core of attraction is confidence, and we have to remind ourselves of this from time to time. Almost any female will tell you stories about being drawn to a guy who they typically wouldn’t glance twice at because of his charm, wit and humour – all of which stem from confidence. By the same token, men will quickly ditch a woman seemingly “out of his league” to some the moment she begins to become needy and insecure in a relationship. If you are seen as insecure and unconfident from the beginning, potential partners likely see this as a sign of things to come. After all, an unfortunate but realistic byproduct of insecurity is jealousy, and nobody wants to deal with that.
Ability to be Yourself
It is quite obvious when someone is not being him or herself and is putting on a show or act for present company. While it is one thing to be “on” at parties and events in a business and social sense, it is quite another to pretend to be a completely different person. Some unique factors about people in his or her natural state are unexplainably attractive, like the way they laugh, little quirks or habits, and even the ability to wear one’s heart on his or her sleeve.
Engaging
In order to be attractive, you must be captivating. If you have interesting, impressive or funny things to say, people will want to listen. People are attracted to things like talent (any female will tell you how instantly more attractive a man can become once it is discovered he can play the guitar), intelligence, drive and worldliness. “Hot” can quickly become “dull” if it feels you are speaking to a wall.