Most of us have been there.
In fact, some of us were there this weekend.
But whether it was one spontaneous hookup back in university (and it’s haunted you ever since), or you do it on the regular – those hazy mornings bring a flood of thoughts.
So if you’ve ever woken up at their place for the first time, we’re willing to bet a lot of these 23 thoughts ran through your head…
1. Is He/She Awake?
It’s really hard to tell – is he/she just pretending to sleep so I can slip out? (Can I pull the old French goodbye?)
2. Was He/She As Buzzed As I Was?
Because I’m not really sure what neighbourhood I’m in right now.
3. Could His/Her Roomate Hear?
Is there even a roommate? Seriously, where am I?
4. Where’s the Bathroom?
And will it be possible to sneak there and back without waking him/her up?
5. Damn, Where Are My Clothes?
Oh God, I have to pee so badly – should I just put on their bathrobe? Really though, where are my clothes?
6. Are We Going to Have Morning Sex?
Cause I feel like a bag of awful. And I can smell their morning breath from here…
7. I Couldn’t Be Thirstier
But would it be awkward to go into the kitchen and get water? Where is the kitchen?
8. My Mouth Tastes Like a Sewer
Do I still have gum in my pocket/purse? Would it be weird to be chewing gum in their bed when they wake up?
9. Where is My Phone?
PANIC.
10. What Will We Talk About Once He/She Wakes Up?
I really hope it’s not awkward. What was their name again?
11. Will He/She Think it’s Weird if We Cuddle?
‘Cause he/she looks sort of cute sleeping like that, and I kind of want to.
12. Will He/She Think it’s Weird if I Don’t Want to Cuddle?
Because the sight of him/her right now is making me almost as uneasy as the thought of last night’s tequila shots.
13. I Wonder How Often He/She Does this Type of thing?
And were they thinking the same thing about me last night? Never. My answer, no matter what, is never.
14. How Much of a Disaster Do I Look Like Right Now?
Because I’m pretty sure I couldn’t look worse. And the fact that this room is so damn bright isn’t helping. Who doesn’t have curtains?!
15. I Need to Debrief ASAP
I can’t wait to tell friend x about this – he/she won’t believe it.
16. How Should I Leave Things?
Should I suggest we hangout again? Do I want to? How do I get out of here?
17. I Hope These Sheets Were Clean
Because the thought of sleeping in someone else’s dried sweat really isn’t helping my hangover right now.
18. What Do I Have to Do Today?
‘Cause lying here overthinking everything is kind of screwing up my whole morning…
19. Whose Idea Was this Anyway?
Tequila, the answer is tequila.
20. I Didn’t Know He/She Was into That.
But they really, really were.
21. Should I Be Over this By Now?
Let’s save the shame spiral for later, shall we?
22. Should I Kiss Him/Her Goodbye?
‘Cause I need to leave. NOW.
23. Was This a Bad Idea?
Or was it the best idea ever…?
#NOTABLE
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