15 Thoughts Every Young Professional Has on a Sunday Night

Sunday night looms and your mind is swirling with thoughts.

What is supposed to be your only chill time of the week has been rendered anything but by your brain, which is hell-bent on maximizing its utility. Even if your just Netflix and chilling, it’s not really “chill,” is it?

So what’s on your mind? Probably one of these 15 things…

1. F*************ccccckkkkkkkkkk.
Yup, tomorrow’s Monday. Definitely. No way around it.

2. He/she knows what I meant by “and chill,” right?
Is it ok to make a move? What if he/she actually wants to chill? I can’t chill.

3. Will John Oliver be on tonight?
Sometimes Last Week Tonight just randomly takes a week off. Soul-crushing devastation the 1 in 10 times the answer to this is ‘no’.

4. I’m going to be so productive this week.
By Tuesday, when you haven’t yet been productive, this turns into “I’m going to be so productive next week.”

5. I wonder if there are any cheap flights available.
Destination unknown and unimportant.

6. Damn it, I forgot to buy ____.
And you won’t get it for a full week because groceries are reserved exclusively for the weekend.

7. Maybe I’ll go to the gym tonight…
Or maybe you’ll go in the new year.

8. Am I getting sick?
Translation: is my itchy nose justification to craft a long weekend?

9. Is butter a carb?
Which is to say no amount of dietary commitments will restrict what goes into your mouth tonight. It’s cheat day, after all.

10. What are some good movies that are out right now?
Then, by the time you find out, it’s time for bed.

11. Haha, suckers.
Congrats, you don’t have a regular job.

12. I’ll drink this wine because it’s still the weekend.
Technically correct – go for it!

13. I can’t believe I missed church this morning.
Just kidding.

14. This is f*cking awesome!
Clearly someone’s having a Sunday Funday. Treat yo’ self. And prepare to regret everything tomorrow.

15. Zzz.
Seriously, there are actually a few things you can do Sunday night to make sure Monday’s quite alright.