Heated discussion about the conditions of maternity leave, judgement on fashion decisions during pregnancy, and debate over the birthing plans a mother chooses for her labour.
And that’s all before the baby’s even born.
Post-pregnancy? Cue strong opinions on breastfeeding versus bottled milk, parenting techniques, working mothers, and stay-at-home parents.
In many ways, the judgement society casts upon a mother begins the minute they become pregnant – and lasts well into parenthood.
We may be living in the 21st century, but that doesn’t mean moms are immune to being asked personal questions or put on trial for crimes against motherhood.
That’s why Australian blogger Constance Hall wrote a Facebook post that aims to put a stop to all that. She salutes all moms out there who are struggling to maintain the perfect portrait of motherdom, begging them to not to be so hard on themselves – even when others are doing exactly that.
To the woman at the park, looking at her phone, ignoring her children,I salute you. For not giving into the public…
Posted by Constance Hall on Saturday, January 16, 2016
She acknowledges that just because mothers aren’t talking about it doesn’t mean that they aren’t out there struggling with issues that range from housework building up and not being able to shed that baby weight. And more serious ones, like postpartum depression.
Constance commends women for “giving no f**ks about what ‘constable mother’s group’ thinks.”
She also salutes them for asking for help, which should not be confused for not coping. Lastly, she implores them to eat cake – the “whole f**king cake” instead of worrying about a diet.
It would be nice to see more of this straight-shooting talk about motherhood, which offers a refreshing look at what should be reasonably expected of parents.
What would be even nicer is if we started to see more evidence of this on social media. Instead of pictures of a family outing with the husband and the kids, all cheesy smiles and their hair carefully brushed, how about moms uploading pictures of screaming tantrums or spit up-accessorized outfits?
The overwhelming reaction to Constance’s post was of gratitude, as many thanked her for the brutal honesty, which saw more than 261,000 people like the post and over 125,000 share it.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. If this is the reaction to a few powerful words about the realities of being a mother, imagine how vindicated mothers would feel if others like them posted not just food photos to Instagram, but ones of the stack of dirty dishes that accumulated in the sink following three rounds of meal time with a growing family.
Let’s stop pervading an image of perfection all the time – and I mean that for everyone, not just moms. The more we stop presenting our lives through a filter, the more we’ll stop alienating those who are too afraid to ask for help.
All it would take is for a couple of us to show others that not every moment of every day is #blessed.
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