At some point we’re all going to want to fall in love and settle down with someone.
But so often it seems like young people spend far too much time and energy worrying about the future and how they haven’t met “the one” yet that they forget to enjoy what’s already in front of them.
Don’t get me wrong, the idea of settling down sounds great – but it’s not something that’s going to happen overnight. It’s going to happen organically, when the time is right.
I feel like I’ve heard far too many friends complain that they aren’t married yet, or freak out that they have yet to meet the one. I just sit back and bite my tongue because I see them in the prime of their life and they should be happy about it.
Instead of spending so much time worrying about the future, I’d suggest living more in the moment so you’ll be ready for that spark when it happens.
Before that day comes, however, you need to focus on the pre-settle down period and enjoy every minute of it. It’s during this stage in life that you’ll discover exactly what kind of person you’ll eventually want to settle down with.
So I present to you the 10 things everyone should try to accomplish before settling down.
Live Somewhere Else
When you get married, your partner may find out that they have to relocate for work. Or vice versa. But that transition will be so much harder if you’ve never moved away from your home town. While being comfortable in life is great, challenging yourself is even better. Whether you try living in another city, province or country, you need to see the world first-hand to be able to decide where you want to live. You don’t want to end up as that person who raises a family in their hometown and spends every minute dreaming about living somewhere else.
Be Financially Independent
In order for anyone to ever take you seriously, you’re going to have to stop relying on the bank of mom and dad to bail you out whenever you have a problem. You have to be able to take care of yourself financially before you can ever properly take care of someone else.
Challenge Yourself
Has there ever been something that you wanted to try, but you’ve been too afraid to try it? There’s no better time to try new things than the present. Train for a marathon, learn a new language or volunteer overseas. Your single years are the perfect time to take on new challenges, because you can focus so much time and energy into whatever you decide to try.
Be Stupid
When you eventually settle down, you’ll start to think about raising a family and people will start to depend on you. Now is the time to live fearlessly and selfishly while you still can. Go skydiving or bungee jumping, go out and meet new people and try new things – all in moderation, of course.
Get Over FOMO
We live in a time where we’re accosted by the meals, vacations, parties, and sheer epicness of everyone we know thanks to social media. But if you seriously feel like you’re missing out and panic when you see what your friends are doing now when you’re not there, how are you going to be able to deal with it when you’re spending your Saturday evenings changing diapers? If you really care that much about what other people are doing you’re doing everything wrong. You need to live in the moment and be content with what you choose to do. And while partying with half-naked models and Dan Bilzerian seems like the most epic thing you could be doing now, chances are you wont be into it down the road.
Date a Lot of People
In order for you to know what you want in a relationship, you’ll have to learn what you like. If you’re single, seize the moment and go on dates with people who you don’t think are your type. Go on a blind date. Have a one night stand. Get it out of your system while you can and enjoy every minute of it.
Travel as Much as Possible
Whether you choose to travel far away or within the confines of your own city, exploring other cities and cultures can help you learn a lot about yourself. Travelling will not only get you out of your comfort zone, but it will give you a new sense of freedom.
Get Dumped
Sure, we’ve all been dumped before. But before you can truly be ready to settle down, you need to know what it’s like to have your heart seriously broken. Heartbreak is a necessary human experience that enables you to grow as a person. And in order to grow, you need to know what it’s like to have to put yourself back together again. Somewhere along the way you’ll learn how to protect yourself and your emotions, and you’ll be ready to love again.
Spoil Yourself
Your future self will have to look after your partner, kids and even your parents. Take the time now to focus all of your energy on yourself. Kick ass in your career, buy yourself nice clothes, and drink expensive wine. Cater solely to yourself while you can and don’t feel guilty about it.
Learn About Yourself
I’m sure no person will ever be able to fully understand themselves – we humans are very complex creatures, after all. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to get a clearer understanding of who you are. Before settling down you need to see what it’s like to be fully vulnerable and on your own. Try getting out of your comfort zone, explore your interests, succeed continuously, fail until you hit rock bottom. Then you’ll know who you truly are.
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