If you’re lucky enough to call yourself Canadian, I don’t care where you are; when July 1st rolls around, you should be belting out ‘O Canada’ in a beaver-pelt thong as you apologize for shotgunning a beer on top of a plaid tree.
But ideally, you would be doing all that in Toronto.
On July 1st, when the clock strikes “Eh”, here are 10 reasons why you should be in The Big Smoke to blow out our nation’s 148 candles…
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There’s a Foam-Party Boat Cruise
Sorry, what was that? You said you know someone who’s doing a boat cruise on Canada Day? Oh, that’s nice. Out of curiosity, WILL THEIR BOAT BE STUFFED FULL OF FOAM??? ‘Cause this one will. It’s boarding at 12:30pm at 333 Lakeshore Ave. E and gets back at 5pm. Just in time for three consecutive showers, a hepatitis vaccine, and a trip to the city’s evening festivities.
Electric Island
If you like Canada and electronic music, then you can make your way over to Toronto Island and check out the limb-loosening beats of Sasha, Marcel Dettmann, Lee Foss, Dennis Ferrer, and several others. The show runs from 1pm to 10:30pm and tickets can be bought online or at Moog Audio on Queen St. West. Red & White glow-sticks not included.
The Infinite Family-Friendly Events
With every major holiday in Toronto comes an overwhelming number of celebratory options for the entire clan. Queen’s Park, Mel Lastman Square, Harbourfront Centre, Yonge & Dundas Square, and even Ripley’s Aquarium are all hosting Canada Day jams. From face-painting and fireworks to concerts and crustaceans, the all-inclusive Canadian attitude is alive and well with Toronto July 1st festivities.
The Tragically Hip
Probably our most patriotic musicians, I can’t think of a Canada Day where The Hip didn’t play a concert. Maybe in the 1800s? This year, they’re playing the Molson Amphitheatre and as usual, the show is going to rock. Whether you’re in your teens or you’re 38 Years Old, short of a Nautical Disaster, it shouldn’t be hard to muster up the Courage to go watch these guys play.
The Toronto Fringe Festival Kick-Off
What better way to celebrate our country than to celebrate its most creative, hardworking theatrical talent. As Toronto’s largest theatre and performance festival, the Fringe Festival features more than 150 productions at more than 25 venues across town. There’s drama, dance, comedies, musicals, improv and just about any other genre and style of live theatre you can imagine. And all box office revenue goes straight to the artists. So kind…so thoughtful…so…Canadian.
The Jays are Playing/Beating the Red Sox
Approaching the half-way mark of the season, Canada’s baseball team is only 1 game back from 1st place in the AL East and has fifty seven more runs than the next highest scoring team in the entire league (that’s a whopping 16% margin). That means they’re pretty much the most fun team to watch in baseball. With that kind of performance comes major league fan support and nothing short of spirited, engaging atmosphere at games – a match-up against US-based division rivals, The Boston Redsox on Canada Day will be no exception (and the first 20,000 fans get a t-shirt). Not to mention that the downtown partying after big games is nothing short of epic these days.
The Steamwhistle Lobster Boil
Canada Day at Steamwhistle this year features a full lobster and 2 side dishes for $25, accompanied by the usual refreshing green pilsners and some East Coast live music. The two seatings are at 3pm and 6pm, though only a very limited number of tickets are left at the door for the later time.
The Awesome Canada-Proud Bars
Toronto has the country’s best collection of red-and-white-bleeding bars and beer-emporiums. Real Sports Bar and Grill, The Loose Moose, Jack Astor’s, Shoeless Joe’s, Mill Street, Bellwood’s Brewery, and Bar Volo are just a few examples of pubs and pour houses you can hit for a candidly Canucky vibe and a patriotic pint – many of which will have been brewed right here in The Great White North.
Because Montréal Barely Even Wants to be Canadian
10 Reasons to Celebrate Canada Day in Montréal? Someone probably moved a decimal by accident. Between two referendums (with separatist being outvoted only 50.58-49.42% in the most recent), language laws, and a persistent psychological alignment with everything European (especially pants), the two most Canadian things about that city are its winters and the name of its hockey team. If you really want to head to Montréal for a celebration of patriotism and heritage, it’s only eight months ‘till St. Patrick’s Day.
No Place is a Better Reflection of Canada’s Identity
If you’re going to celebrate the birthday of this great country, you should probably pop the cork in the city that best reflects its most admirable quality: diversity. Diversity in people, in arts, in food, in everything. Toronto may not be this country’s political capital, but it’s hard to argue that it’s not its cultural heart.
But no matter where you are, wave that flag and wave it proud. This whole damn place deserves a big fat high five. Or 148 of them…
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