Violence against women is front and centre.
This is thanks in part to powerful and progressive social media campaigns and dialogue inspired both here and South of the Border in light of the Bill Cosby scandal and Jian Ghomeshi allegations.
At the same time, the Western world is witnessing both demand and subsequent action when it comes to gender equality. With that said, a video by YouTuber Matthew Santoro raises another important topic when it comes to domestic abuse and gender equality.
Back in September, he uploaded a highly emotional video in which he discusses the physical and emotional abuse he suffered during a one-year relationship with an unnamed woman who is assumed to be YouTube star Nicole Arbor. As you’ll recall, she is the blunt comedian you either love or hate who gained notoriety last year with her controversial “Dear Fat People” video.
Santoro’s 14-minute video was private until January 10, when he accidentally made it public. He has since decided to leave it up. Through tears (a lot of tears), Santoro describes his ex made him feel “powerful, sexy, and like a king,” before the relationship took a sour and dark turn. He then details physical and emotional abuse that characterized their rocky one-year union.
He discusses being hit in the face and being forced to cut people out of his life by his overly jealous, controlling ex.
“Abuse knows no gender,” says Santoro, “It has to go both ways.”
And he has a point.
I was curious as to what my male friends thought about the whole thing. Though they agreed with his message and have actually been in similar(ish) situations, they did share the sentiment that the tears and sobs were a bit much, and that the whole thing was a bit dramatic.
Even so, it raises an important issue when it comes to abusive relationships. Just because they may be physically stronger and supposedly tougher, men are often victim to assault at the hands of their girlfriends. I know many girls who have slapped a cheating boyfriend in the face. But if a guy did that to one of us, it would have been totally unacceptable, regardless of the circumstances.
If we’re going to be on a completely level playing field as men in both our personal and professional lives, the rules and expectations need to be the same when it comes to abusive behaviour.
Not to mention, I know some super fit girls who could actually kick the hell out of their husbands if they tried (sorry, guys).