It seems the dating world remains divided when it comes to PDAs.
Some friends may roll their eyes in disgust at the couple that is all over one another in a very public place. Others may look to that same couple and think #relationshipgoals.
Either way, I’ve been thinking about it, especially when it concerns PDAs with people who aren’t officially your significant other – and may never become so. As I’ve recently learned, when it comes to dating (as opposed to stable relationships), PDAs should probably be approached with a little more caution than we’re affording them – especially since our cities aren’t getting any smaller.
That is, if you want to maintain a strong dating game.
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Not too long ago, for example, I was walking down the street with a particular individual who I had been spending a little bit of time with as of late. Refreshingly, he is just as affectionate as I am. And that’s great and all – especially when there’s nobody else around – but it also presents a bit of an issue (admittedly, a First World one).
He was not my boyfriend. I was not his girlfriend. Whatever will happen with us remained to be seen.
Anyway, naturally, and organically, we can get a little touchy with one another (and no, there’s nothing wrong with that). But here’s the problem: when we met for a midday work break, we found ourselves strolling down the street in the sunshine, hand-in-hand like we had been together forever. It seemed normal and natural.
No big deal, right?
But then, in a moment of minor panic that was followed by a subsequent letting go of hands, we inevitably ran into someone I know quite well. While it’s totally fine, it’s also a little awkward. The last that person had heard of my dating life was that I was entertaining a few “potentials” and had just ended a brief summer relationship with someone. Now, I apparently had a boyfriend – or so it appeared.
Most of my girlfriends hadn’t heard me utter this guy’s name either – simply because we’d all been a little busy for a healthy catch-up and there was little to report back on. Meaning, they’d die of shock (and probably laughter) had they been the ones to run into us on the street that day. To be clear, I know that nobody’s losing sleep over my relationship status. It’s not about that, but the ramifications of too much PDA and the impact it can have on your dating game.
Here’s the thing: that very evening, one of my good girlfriends who had been out with the two of us the evening before, saw the said guy at a very public, young professional-filled venue and sent me a text saying that he was on a date and that they were “all over each other,” “holding each other,” and “super close.”
While the news didn’t upset me, per say (we were not officially an item), I did find that it would have invited an embarrassing situation had the witness not been one of my trusted bestests. I mean, he and I were all over each other ourselves just hours prior – and in the broad daylight (as opposed to a night club).
At any rate, in a dialogue between myself and the said guy later that evening, he laughed it off (he had seen my friend there too), and said he had just run into an ex who was “practically engaged.” Cool. Seriously. That’s not the point.
The point is that both PDAs he engaged in that day got me thinking. These days, it’s virtually impossible to stroll through the city core or show up at an event and not see someone who you know. Not to mention, our young professional circles are increasingly interconnected. And people love to talk. They also naturally make assumptions. Let’s not forget that there are perpetually snapping camera phones to document our every move.
When it comes to PDAs with people you haven’t become “official” with, you may want to hold off on the hand-holding, ass-grabbing, and cuddling when you know there’s a chance you’re going to run into someone you know. As in, in the downtown core during lunch break (guilty), or out at that venue where you know you’ll see people you know.
Though it’s nobody’s business, it could just be a total game-changer – and not one that you’re looking for. Until you’re “official,” you may want to keep it under wraps (and in more ways than one).
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