You Do You: 6 Signs It’s Time to Put Yourself First…And Leave Them Behind

You’re happy…ish. You like hanging out…sometimes. You don’t fight…except for most days.

Whether you’ve been dating for a few months or a couple of years, finding yourself caught up in the comfort of routine can make ending a relationship pretty devastating.

If you can’t decide whether to stay together or break up, here are six signs that your relationship is past its expiry date. It might be time to face the hard truth, cut your losses, and move on.

1. Your Lives Are Going in Different Directions
In the early days of a relationship – in a haze of passion and excitement – it’s easy to overlook your differences. You may have totally opposing career goals, family plans or lifestyle preferences. Sometimes these differences can be fixed through compromise and communication, but at the end of the day, you may simply be incompatible. It’s one thing if you’re just having fun, but if you’re in a committed, long-term relationship and can’t envision a future together, it’s time to walk away.

Different Directions

Image: Jared

2. You Make Excuses to Stay
Maybe you’ve already realized that this isn’t the one for you, but you keep making excuses to put off the breakup. You have a big trip planned, a friend’s wedding, or an upcoming promotion. Your family and friends seem to like your partner and you don’t want to go through the hassle of dating again. Think being in a relationship is better than nothing? It’s not.

Making Excuses

3. You Fight… Constantly
It’s healthy for couples to argue, but if your relationship has become a bitter battleground, you’re in the trenches. If you can’t stop picking fights, you may be fixating on the smaller things instead of the bigger problem.

Couple Fighting

4. Your Fantasies Don’t Feature Your Partner
If you find yourself continually daydreaming about a clean and quiet apartment, a hot date with your neighbour in 2B, or travelling alone; you’ve more than likely checked out. It’s normal to wonder what it’d be like to date someone else, or get more “you” time, but these types of fantasies on the regular offer a clear sign that your interest is moving in a different direction.


Image: Getty

5. Your Sex Life Has Sizzled
If you aren’t being intimate, that’s usually an indication that there’s a problem. Although this is something that can be worked on, the larger worry is if you’re no longer attracted to your partner. After all, can you keep moving forward without that strong physical attraction?

Bad sex life

6. You’re Not Happy
This seems so simple and obvious, but it can be the hardest fact to accept. A relationship should make you happy. Period. Not every day, not without hard work, but this should be the number one deal breaker. If you can’t remember the last time you were happy for more than 24hrs with your partner, that’s a major (see: time to go) issue.