What Single Young Professionals Need to Stop Assuming About Their Married Pals

Recently we talked about the five ignorant assumptions young professionals make about their kid-consumed colleagues. After such a great response, we decided to think even further about other sectors of the young professional (YP) population that are commonly misunderstood. So this week we are giving a shout out to the married folk; the young professionals who have taken the plunge, tied the knot, strapped on the ol’ ball and chain. While the lifestyle of married YPs can differ from that of their solo-flying comrades, there are certain assumptions that singles often make about their married mates that just aren’t true. Here are a few examples to watch out for: 

No, we aren’t necessarily having kids right away.  
When YPs pair up and stay that way for any length of time, it is common to be inundated with questions regarding marriage, like, “So, when’s the big day?” Similarly, once married the same nosey Nellies continue on with that inevitable next question: “So, when are you going to start having kids?” While the nursery rhyme timeline may indicate that first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage, in reality that’s not always how it works. Many married YPs are now opting to spend a longer time just being married, and that’s it. For some, things like gaining additional education, focusing on careers, spending time traveling, or simply being together as a married couple are taking priority over immediately building a family.  In fact, being married really has little to do with having kids anymore. Many single people choose to become parents just as many married people choose not to. Whether your married buddies do or don’t go on to have kids soon after the wedding, just do them a favor and leave that very personal decision up to them. 

Yes, we still party!
Sure, we may have to consult with our better half before being able to go on a golf trip to Florida, or a girls’ weekend in Vegas, but we still want to be invited. And yeah, sometimes we may have to bring our wifey or hubby along to the party. But hey, if you like hanging with us, you’ll likely enjoy hanging with them too. Solo pals just need be open to the idea of taking us as a packaged deal on some occasions. It is also true that some married YPs can become more home-based, or tend to couple off with other couples to do coupley things, but we still recognize the importance (and fun!) of hanging with our single buddies. Either way, just remember that aside from being married, we’re still just like you: social young professionals in search of success and fun. So order up, check out that hot chick your buddy’s wife is chatting to, and let’s party! 

No, we’re not miserable (nor do we “have it all”)
There are some really cliché and old-school ideas out there regarding what marriage is all about. For single YPs, assumptions about their married guy friends being “tied down,” or of their female friends “living happily ever after” are common… and just plain ill-informed. Being married (or in any variety of committed civil partnership) is different for everyone, and such relationships can be pretty complex. Like in any partnership, things change overtime, dynamics shift, and there are good times and not so good times. For the singletons, don’t just assume that your married friend who seems to be getting constantly yelled at by his wife on the phone must be living some miserable life, or that your girlfriend with the superstar CEO husband is living in some kind of fairytale. Marriage is an ever-evolving thing that demands and requires a ton of respect, both from those in it and from those friends trying to support it. So help your married pals out by just being the same great friend you’ve always been, and by keeping those often-false assumptions about marriage and married people in check.