Let’s be honest. Cheating happens all the time in our cities, with the initial seeds of adultery planted everywhere from at the office to the gym or on the Thursday après-work scene. We have seen even the most seemingly “picture perfect” couple torn apart by allegations of cheating. Some stray because they are unhappy or unfulfilled in their relationships, others for no other reason than instant gratification or to fuel their ego. Whatever the case, cheating is cheating. Here are the top excuses to cheating and why they are bogus altogether.
I was drunk
This excuse may have gotten you out of dodge in university but is, frankly, a huge cop out. Unless you were so incapacitated that you were physically taken advantage of (meaning someone shoved their tongue down your throat when you were passed out) the “drunk excuse” may make your behaviour a tad easier to understand, but certainly not acceptable. By this age, we should know how to handle our liquor, or at least how we react to it in certain situations.
I was caught in the moment
Attractions and temptations will always be inevitable; the difference is whether you choose to act on them. Grown adults are able to avoid distractions. This excuse means that your partner is too weak-willed or too much of a fool to resist the advances of temptation. Not to mention that moment that invited the initial contact to occur should never have had an opportunity to present itself in the first place.
You don’t pay attention to me
Sometimes in relationships, we need a little reassurance time and again that we’ve “still got it.” Especially if you are not receiving the attention from your SO, you may seek it from others. Aside from the temporary ego boost, falling into the bed of another is not going to fix the problem of feeling under-valued in your relationship. Perhaps the attention isn’t even lacking in the relationship; in this case, the cheater has self-esteem issues and needs to be reminded of the fact that he or she has YOU, the one they chose.
You’ve let yourself go
This excuse never sits well if you’re foolish enough to use it. Although not a common trend among appearance-conscious urban professionals, it is not unheard of for people in relationships to grow comfortable and neglect their appearance, become lazy or put on weight. Yes, you agreed to stick together “for better or worse,” but if the worse is self-destructive and is the result of a drastic change in lifestyle or laziness, then the other has a right to speak up. You should motivate one another to maintain an active and healthy lifestyle, not seek the next best body elsewhere.
We live separate lives
When you are doing things separately, you are more likely to meet people who share your interests. We are advocates of maintaining a degree of autonomy, but if you are leading parallel lives all together you may find yourself spending more time with potential distractions and temptations (who also share a passion for tennis, running or cocktail hour) than with each other. If you want to live separately, separate.
Well, I wasn’t getting it from you
Passion fizzles over time. Once kids are added to the equation, you would be hard pressed to find a couple who takes the occasional blow to their sex life. Marriages may look great on paper – the steady finances, two-car garage and designated “power couple” status – but if the element of passion is missing, the relationship is vacant in our books. Rediscover and re-ignite that spark at home instead of seeking it elsewhere. Yes, the reality is that it may require work.
I wanted to get even
To find out you have been cheated on is the ultimate in betrayal. For some, the only way to feel satisfied and deal with the blow is to do then same thing to the other person. This is a petty grade school excuse and once this happens, the relationship is hurt beyond repair.
Cheating is not going to solve any problems within your relationship; it is a cowardly act that only creates more problems. If you’re so unhappy, either end it or address the issues and work to fix them so that he heart-wrenching (and perhaps suitcase packing) excuse-filled conversation doesn’t have to be had.