They’re the ones others forewarn you about: “Just so you know, she’s one of these overly opinionated types.” “He’s a bit of a know-it-all.” They’re the ones who speak up when others don’t, who make situations uncomfortable, and make others wonder why they can’t just keep their mouths shut. Whether at the office or at happy hour, we all know one of these awkward pause-inducing young professionals (YPs)… or perhaps we are them. At Notable, we are known for having big opinions on occasion, so we know what it feels like to be deemed the “overly opinioned types” – or OOYPs. While some might believe OOYPs find delight in highlighting their own righteousness at the expense of others’ dignity, we can tell you (of course) that being a “know-it-all” can at times be no fun at all. If you happen to be an OOYP, or if you’re someone tasked with dealing with one, check out these insights and tips to gain a better understanding and build a more successful coexistence.
Why we do it
OOYPs can routinely find themselves in tense situations, mouths flapping or typing fingers flying, seemingly of their own accord, relaying what at the time feels like a perfectly legitimate and oh-so necessary message. At the worst of times, this can result in ruined occasions, questionable reps, and even lifelong enemies. Is it an impulse control problem? Residual immaturity? Perhaps, though many OOYPs will likely tell you that even in hindsight they’d probably open their big fat mouths all over again. So why do we do it? Speaking up in the name of deserving causes, personal values, or accurate information may come at a price, but it’s a price we who opine pay due to a deep, gut-wrenching compulsion. Sure, it sucks to piss people off. It’s not like OOYPs don’t feel bad about making others look misinformed or straight up stupid; the guilt can actually be overwhelming. But we also know that when it comes to informing an old-school neighbour that rubbing his dog’s nose in its business doesn’t actually work, or telling an ignorant colleague that Brad Pitt didn’t actually write that damn letter to Angelina Jolie, that denying the need to correct and inform on such matters feels much, much worse. Swallowing that compulsion feels like re-swallowing vomit.
The OOYP burden
In a world that so appreciates comfort and convenience while loathing all things awkward and difficult, caring to the point of compulsion becomes more than just the OOYP’s annoying epithet – it’s our burden. Many know-it-alls would give anything to know and care less, to be able to dull the desire to speak up. But what most smarty-pants OOYPs really wish is for the rest of the world to know and care more.
How to make it work
Of course there is a way for opinionated types to keep compulsions reined in while still feeding the beast that demands we be true to ourselves. Recognizing the line between the need to be heard and the need to be right is not only a sign of maturity, but also an effective tactic in influencing others. It’s amazing how much more welcome our tidbits of knowledge and varying views can be if presented in a form more parallel than pyramid. Instead of always trumping the false, OOYPs are better off engaging alongside them, offering perspectives to be added to the potpourri pile. (We hear that’s how conversations are actually supposed to work.)
For the rest of the population who must exist alongside the overly opinionated, know that for the most part our intentions are good. Sometimes we just lack certain skills in mode of delivery, and time and place. Also know that our spewing of opposing opinions and caustic corrections is not done for the sake of attention seeking or pot stirring, but is often as involuntary as choking up an oversized bite of steak. It’s because we can’t breathe that we are unable to shut our mouths.
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