This can’t be what J. Edgar Hoover had in mind.
For the first time in 16 years, F.B.I. agents will be required to undergo a fitness test. But not just any fitness test – one that’s laughably easy and could probably be completed by any pre-teen who finished at least middle of the pack on the dreaded ‘beep test’.
Not only that, but the Bureau’s 13,500 agents have until October – half a year of training! – to complete the test. Males aged 20-29 need to complete these four exercises, each rewarded with a FIVE-MINUTE BREAK in between, to pass the test:
– 38 sit-ups without stopping
– 29 push-ups without stopping
– Run 300 metres in less than 59 seconds
– Run 1.5 miles in 12.29 minutes
Females aged 20-29 need to meet the following threshold:
– 32 sit-ups without stopping
– 15 push-ups without stopping
– Run 300 metres in less than 71 seconds
– Run 1.5 miles in 15.05 minutes
This is what Crossfit calls a warm-up.
The renewed focus on fitness comes after more than a decade of desk-ridden commitment to fighting terrorism, during which one’s physical output became less of a priority.
“The lives of your colleagues and those you protect may well depend upon your ability to run, fight, and shoot, no matter what job you hold,” said F.B.I. James B. Cooney about the re-instatement.
As long as, you know, you only have to run and fight at a ridiculously easy pace…