Toronto Weekender: May 15 through 18, 2014

We’re pretty sure every workweek should lead to a long weekend, but there’s probably a reason we’re not in charge of everything – yet. Regardless, Victoria Day has always signaled the start of summer, which is why we’ve packed this edition of The Weekender so full of boats, bands, and parties that by the time you wake up Monday morning you’ll be fully aware of why they call it a long weekend in the first place. Days off only mean more days on.    

Several weeks ago we told you to keep a watch on High Park. Well, it turns out we were nearly six weeks off but the buds have finally started to bloom and the cherry trees have never looked better. Warm up your Instagram.

We just finished a two-part interview with the real Wolf of Wall Street, Jordan Belfort, but if that wasn’t enough for you, Belfort will be in town tonight to teach you “Exactly How To Ethically Persuade Anyone.” See, he’s doing it already.

Street Haven at the Crossroads is hosting their third annual Gala of Light event at The Spoke Club. This event helps bring awareness to marginalized women in downtown Toronto – go have a cocktail for a great cause.

Indie super-darlings and sisters Este Bassface” Arielle, Danielle Sari, and Alana Mychal, aka Haim, are playing at Kool Haus. But if you’re going to go you should probably know how to say their name. (Hint: it rhymes with “time,” not this guy).

Affinity calls itself a “spontaneous gathering of local Toronto DJs who come together to offer a common adoration for refined underground house music.” Sounds great, but also planned.

Holly McNarland will make you feel numb at the Piston. Remember that song? Of course you do, you’re Canadian and it was on Big Shiny Tunes 2.

An axe throwing tournament for beginners that’s also BYOB. If we hadn’t been before we might say this sounds like a bit of a sketchy combination.

The Canadian Sport Film Festival is kicking off its three-day run at the TIFF Bell Lightbox. Apparently it was a really competitive process.

The inaugural The Sound of Change Music Festival is being held at Adelaide Hall. Proceeds will go toward supporting Raising the Village, a charity working to eliminate extreme poverty through sustainable, community-based projects in Uganda. And while there’s probably a raise the roof joke in there somewhere, we just hope the charity continues to succeed.

Looking for a one-night stand? Boy, have we got the perfect gala for you…

American rapper Hopsin is playing at Kool Haus with DJ Hoppa. He wears white contacts and sounds like this.  

Friday Night Live at the Rom’s theme this week is May Two Four Cottage and is bringing you craft beer, open galleries, DJs, and food truck snacks. So basically nothing like a cottage… but just as amazing.

It’s International Day Against Homophobia. One day soon we hope this is just every day of the year. 

Tim Horton’s is giving away free donuts. So expect the drive-thru line-up to look exactly the same as it always does. 

An afternoon Boat Cruise that comes with its own after party? Yup, this is exactly what long weekends are all about.

The latest iteration of the Toronto Underground Market promises to be yet another example of our city’s ability to create foodie heaven on earth – or at least at 99 Sudbury St. 

You know how you just can’t help yourself whenever Grease comes on and you end up belting out every word? Well, now you can do it in public.

A couple of Grammy Awards, several international #1 hits, number three on DJ Magazine’s Top 100 DJs Rankings, and more than 14 million Facebook fans doesn’t seem too bad for a 25-year-old Swedish kid named Tim. Avicii is taking over the Rogers Centre.

Want to party with a Raptor? Well, now that the playoffs have (sadly) ended early for our favourite team, you can. Greivis Vasquez is hosting Good Saturdays at Vogue Supperclub. You should probably ask him about 2016.   

Scratch Bastid is back at Revival. We’re not exactly sure where he went but we’re definitely happy he’s back.

These guys will trade you a taco for an hour of work. Pretty sure that taco better be worth at least $10.25

You could be on a boat or on another boat. Either way, there’ll be DJs, drinks, and a whole lot of wind swept looks

If the city simply can’t hold you we suggest you head up to Wasaga Beach for Canada’s biggest long weekend party. But from the looks of it, we’re going to state right now that you can’t blame us if you don’t make it back for Tuesday morning. 

It’s Sweaty Betty’s 10-year anniversary party. Beer, wine, oysters, and cocktails (as long as they have less than three ingredients) will be available.   

A May 2-4 kegger at Hot Docs is happening while Dazed and Confused plays on the big screen. The moon tower must have already been booked, but we’re not complaining. 

The Rock N’ Horse County Fair will have bull rides, line dancing, snacks, DJs, and live music. If you’re into going rural in the city, this is exactly how you want to spend a Sunday before a Monday off. 

Everyone knows that how you choose to spend the Victoria Day long weekend sets the tone for the rest of your summer. We’re not here to pressure you but we assume you’ll do the right thing and turn it up to 11. Now stop reading and get going. 

Stay Notable, 

The Weekender 

#LYNL | (Live Your Notable Life)

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Top photo courtesy Spoke Club