It’s halfway through August and you should be feeling the heat.
But we’re not talking about the humidex. No, this is about getting as much as possible out of your summer before it’s suddenly, and all too quickly, over.
Which means that unless you want to spend your fall lamenting all the things you should have done, you’d better start viewing The Weekender as an essential checklist.
Thursday
Phil Kessel is handing out Dairy Queen Blizzards – because obviously.
Honey Jam is where Jully Black and Nelly Furtado got their start. Expect 15 female artists from across Canada to show you the future of music in our country.
The Sail-in Cinema is returning to Sugar Beach for its third year. By land or by sea, you’ll be able to watch a movie on a floating screen in the harbour.
Wes Anderson’s Grand Budapest Hotel is playing at the Open Roof Festival. You might have to hit Craigslist to get a ticket into this gem, though.
Alvvays is playing at The Horseshoe. It’s currently sold out, but we believe in your negotiating skills.
It’s the 11th anniversary of the Eastern Seaboard Blackout of 2003, which means it’s also the 10th annual Blackout Party.
Friday
Just a little something called the CNE. The next two weeks belong to the largest fair in Canada. If you don’t hit up the Ex at least once, we’d submit that you haven’t really experienced summer in the city.
If you’re someone who takes pride in your ability to take the heat, then the Hot & Spicy Food Festival should be right up your alley.
Some people might think mixing axe throwing and alcohol would be a bad idea. They’d be wrong.
Woodstock was 45 years ago. Where were you, maaaaaannn? Oh, not born yet? Makes sense. Luckily you can experience the festival for the first time at Bloor Cinemas.
Diplo’s bringing the Mad Decent Block Party into Fort York this weekend. This be a party, yo.
If the Mad Decent Block Party seems like too hectic a scene, then maybe you’d prefer to take it easy with Blue Rodeo at the Molson Amphitheatre.
The best sequels in the best form you’ve ever seen them. TIFF is making the second time around even better.
Saturday
Possibly the best slogan ever (Go Big and Go OM), Yogapalooza is pretty much exactly what it sounds like.
But if Yogapalooza isn’t enough for you (or too much for that matter), how about a Yogathon instead?
This 5K Foam Fest gives you the chance to run with friends or colleagues (teams of 5 or more) through a course filled with foam, mud, and obstacles. Yes, it’s a little out of the city, but sometimes you have to be willing to travel to get dirty.
Speaking of which, if 5k just isn’t enough to get your heart going, Tough Mudder will definitely do the trick.
Gay Day at Canada’s Wonderland promotes awareness and inclusion for the LGBTQ community with $5 from every ticket sale being donated to PFLAG Canada.
Your weekly obligatory boat cruise is here. And this time it’s a Red & Black Affair.
Kicks&TixTO is all about your sneaks. Head down to the ACC if your foot fetish happens to be all about shoes.
The York-Eglinton International Street Festival will be taking over a few city blocks to celebrate Toronto’s diversity. Expect live music, dance lessons, food and drink, and carnival rides.
Aren’t we all just passengers in Passenger’s success story? Probably, considering more than 350 million people have watched this video.
As the website says, “Corona SunSets brings renowned electronic music innovators to the most amazing beach backdrops.” This is where you’ll find the likes of Moby, Wolf & Lamb, Thievery Corporation, and many more.
Our Lady Peace, Sloan, Eve 6, and I Mother Earth will all be at edgefest. In other words, it will be 1996.
Hey Ma, look who’s in town. So get in the car. And don’t touch nothin’. Sit in the car.
Sunday
If you want to enjoy brunch fare exclusively crafted by O&B’s expert chefs atop an urban oasis, Summer Sundays @ Malaparte is the only place to do it.
Yes, Zombie Car Wash: Bloods N’ Suds is a real thing. And you obviously have the option to get your car washed in blood.
MexFest 2014 will take over Yonge-Dundas Square and fill it with authentic Mexican cuisine, crafts, dance, music and more. Es libre también.
A student run, city-wide garage sale for charity appropriately named the Toronto Yard Sale will take place nowhere near a university.
Open Streets TO replaces cars with pedestrians who can walk, bike, or jog along the city’s “paved parks”. In other words, Rob Ford’s nightmare.
When you call something Bacon Fest you’re really cutting through the explanatory fat.
Want to draw some nude models? Is that even a question?
The Indie Boat Hop is sold out, but we promise this is one trip you want to stow away for if possible. Find a ticket and you’ll get to hit the harbour waters for three hours with six different breweries all featuring one-off craft brews.
HUSTLEHARD: Music Works is a party series for creative types. As the website states, “it’s a think tank, but with cocktails.” The only thing we’re confused about is why the but is in there.
Well, that’s it, that’s all. Four days and nearly 35 ways to spend them.
Just remember: FOMO isn’t real if you’re there.
Stay Notable,
The Weekender
#NOTABLE
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Top photo courtesy Malaparte
