Either right now or tomorrow morning – or next Thursday or even seven days from now – you will need to know how to cure a hangover.
Breaking news: there is no cure. You’ve poisoned your body and now you, as a decision-making adult, will have to bear the consequences.
There is, however, a way to reduce the potency of your pain. Here’s how it’s done around the world:
Germany: Katzenjammer
Translated as “cat’s screech,” katzenjammer is a roll of pickled herring complemented by a beer on the side. A variety of vegetables take up residence inside the rollmops, but feel free to get creative with the filling for a modern take on this folk delicacy.
United States: The Prairie Oyster
Sure, the U.S. lays claim to many different theories about how to best rid your morning headache, but this one’s the most in-your-face American (and therefore worthy of this list): a raw egg in a glass, Worcestershire sauce, a shot of your choice, Tabasco sauce, vinegar, and salt and pepper. Sound just like the concoction that got you into this mess in the first place.
Australia: Ant Tea
Here’s something you won’t find at the supermarket. On the off chance that you have access to ants in the winter, this remedy might rid your hangover on the count of being the only thing your brain can focus on.
Vietnam: Ground Rhino Horn in Water
Stop killing rhinos.
Russia: Pickle Juice
Drinking straight vodka for fun lends a country to produce some pretty effective hangover cures, so we’re confident a bit of morning brine is at least worth a, um, shot.
Italy: Dried Bull’s Penis
Bizarre, yes, but it’s hard to argue that the essential protein, hormones, vitamins, and minerals contained within just one shaft won’t do you some good.
Philippines: Balut
This will not work. We promise – and we dare you to Google it.
Namibia: Buffalo Milk
A stomach-lining beverage if we ever saw one: cream, clotted cream, two types of rum, and creme liquer(s) are halfway to a bender. Curiously, there’s no actual buffalo milk in it.
And in Canada, bceause we know how to really hang, we step out of bed and into a Caesar….
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