I want a million dollars. I want a million dollars. I want a million dollars.
Sometimes, if you really, really want something and you say it enough times, it might actually come true. At least that’s what happened to Danielle Caesar, a 22-year-old Disney fangirl from New York.
After years – five, to be precise – of bombarding Disney star Jake T. Austin on Twitter and Instagram, the pair have finally started an actual, real – dare we say grown-up? – relationship.
The Wizard of Waverly Place actor and friend to fellow Disney alumni Selena Gomez posted a picture of him and Caesar smooching on Instagram with the caption, “I’m crazy for her.”
Luckily, fellow fangirls on Instagram took the whole thing in their stride.
Just kidding. Predictably, they went completely nuts over it. Over 20,000 comments were posted as Beliebers, Directioners and other super fans went into overload, expressing a mix of emotions that ranged from happiness to outrage – and of course a fair deal of jealousy.
Many pondered, why not me? Brittfoss1 tweeted Justin Bieber, saying “this could be us but you’re playing.” Other Twitter users like KAWAIYE0L simply called Caesar “the luckiest human being EVER.”
But perhaps most worrying of all were the many, many fangirls who read Caesar and Austin’s love story as a sign of hope.
Don’t despair. And definitely don’t give up. He just hasn’t found you. Yet.
According to the Daily Mail, Danielle has been tweeting things like this since 2010: “me & @jaketaustin are qettinq[sic] married. Shhh =x he just doesn’t know it yet 😉 yes I know I’m a freak :D.”
And now she’s given false hope to millions of people out there with celebrity crushes by doing the unthinkable and achieving physical contact (and maybe even love) with a living, breathing famous person.
So if someone had a slightly embarrassing crush on, say, former Disney actor Zac Efron, all you’d need to do is get him to follow you back on Twitter and Instagram, tweet him incessantly for half a decade, watch as he falls in love with you, and then spend your lives together, forever?
If you like him, that is. Which of course I don’t. Obviously that was just an example.
There are still many mysteries yet to be uncovered about this romance that I anticipate eagerly in the coming days.
Questions like, what was the magic number of crazy tweets that Jake reached before he was finally wore down? What will you tell your mother when she asks where you two met? Why is she always awake before you are watching you sleep?
But on a serious level – what is he thinking? Can he really expect to engage in a real relationship with someone who has been watching him for several years, following his career and movements with a level of intensity that ranges somewhere between a pageant mom and a serial killer?
And how long will Danielle be satisfied with the conclusion of her online stalking – will he still seem super cute and totes adorbs when he farts in the morning under the covers or when he keeps leaving the toilet seat up?
And what about those intense first few dates when all they do is talk and find out more about each other – only to discover she already knows his mother’s maiden name, his favourite brand of cereal, and where he vacationed for the last five years.
Even the non-super fans among us would know too much about our celebrities if we met them. Hell, we probably know too much about college or high school acquaintances that we haven’t spoken to in years simply by virtue of social media.
So in an era that’s already lacking in mystery, let’s leave things up to chance. If you just happen to bump in Leonardo DiCaprio, then maybe it was meant to be. Tweeting him into submission is still an unlikely route to romance #goals.