This Dating Site Helps Americans Running Away From Trump Find a Canadian Match

What once presumably began as the ultimate publicity stunt (or perhaps a lost bet) has now snowballed into the realms of deadly seriousness.

Donald Trump, the joke that is suddenly not so funny anymore, is running for the Republican nomination with absolutely no opposition.

And once again, scared Americans are turning to their one and only salvation (no, not Hillary Clinton).


Earlier in the year we saw Google searches for “move to Canada” increase by more than 1000 per cent as Americans sought a way to flee their country as Trump took Super Tuesday by the scruff of the neck.

But now it’s time to Make Dating Great Again.

Enter Maple Match, the dating site that hooks up frantic Americans looking to escape the potential POTUS nightmare with eligible Canadians.


“Maple Match makes it easy for Americans to find the ideal Canadian partner to save them from the unfathomable horror of a Trump presidency,” reads the website.

Not surprisingly, it’s been popular so far, which means that all Americans can do at this point is get on the waitlist, fill out their details, and click “Save Me From This Madness.”

Any Americans who don’t want to win anymore can sign up today to find romance and sanctuary (and the legal documentation) with a friend from the North. Plus, finding a match with a Canadian suitor could offer more scope for relocation if Cape Breton doesn’t appeal to them.

Maple Match’s home page previously read:

“Given the high likelihood of the Republican nomination of Donald Trump, American demand has surged, and we have a limited number of Canadians available. Sign up now to make sure that your ideal Canadian is still available to save you from the coming Trumpocalypse.”

Swipe right for universal healthcare. Swipe left for crazy megalomaniacs in bad wigs.

We hope it’ll be a yuge success for our neighbours in the South.