Remember how much you once lived for Halloween? No, not the excuse-to-get-drunk/wear-hilarious-stuff occasion it is now, but the real Halloween.
In other words: CANDY.
Well, in honour of our favourite holiday being only four days away, we thought we’d take a trip down young professional (YP) memory lane and create a top 10 list more important than anything else our adult selves can currently come up with. Here are the best of the best Halloween treats from the real glory days of the occasion: our childhood.
Let’s all just admit we pretended they were pills and we popped them like a bunch of bad asses. Sure they were chalky, but they were also the perfect mix of sweet, sour, and rebellious; what more could a kid ask for?
9. Tootsie Pops
The listing of this somewhat odd sweet may differ for some, depending on whether you were pumped to find that not-quite chocolate center, or if you were disappointed that is wasn’t bubble gum. Either way, Tootsie pops were more than just a sucker. (And they didn’t even make a stupid lemon one, so just for that they make the list.)
8. Bazooka Joe Gum
Funny little comic – check.
Chewiest gum ever – check.
Biggest bubbles possible – check.
Grossest aftertaste imaginable – check.
Throwing back Nerds straight out of the box was a special kind of thrill, and the mini Halloween-sized ones made for a nice one-hitter sugar rush.
6. Twizzlers 3 Pack
For some reason, when there were only three of them (rather than the movie theater-sized 50), we just appreciated those yummy licorice twists a whole lot more.
5. Mini Chips
Depending on where you were in the country, it was Old Dutch, Lays (Hostess if you’re old), or Humpty Dumpty that filled your Halloween pillowcases. Either way, those tiny bags, packed with a half-dozen chips, were a mid-90s revelation.
4. Mini Chocolate Bars
Of course, this could spin off into a whole list of its own, but generally speaking the tried and true mini chocolate bar, be it Mars, Twix, Snickers, Oh Henry!, Aero, Caramilk, KitKat (should we keep going?), was, and always will be, a Halloween fan favourite.
3. Reeses Peanut Butter Cup
That said, the single pack Reeses Peanut Butter Cups were in a league of their own. Always a bit melty, and always the perfect combo of sweet and salty, PB Cups were getting annihilated before the night was even over.
2. Can of Pop
After all those chocolate triumphs of the evening, nothing was a more welcomed Halloween treat than a refreshing can of pop. There was always that one house that knew what was up, and it was thanks to them that we could keep the night rolling.
1. Full-sized Chocolate Bar
Somewhat of a legend, the full-sized chocolate bar was most certainly the holy grail of Halloween. You’d hear rumours of some mansion handing them out in the next neighbourhood over and you’d immediately change your trick-or-treating itinerary to make your way in that direction. Sometimes you’d find it, most times you wouldn’t. And although you could very easily go spend a buck at the store to get one, finding that full-sized chocolate bar was basically like winning Halloween.
And of course, our list would not be complete without a quick shout out to the worst Halloween treats ever:
Individually wrapped caramels: NO ONE LIKES THESE.
Baked goods: Why are you trying to poison us?
Fruit = razor blades.
Homemade popcorn balls: Terrifying. Just terrifying.
A toothbrush: Not candy. Ever. Why would you do this to us?