Ah, Saint Patrick’s Day.
What originally started as a day to honour Irish culture and the patron saint of Ireland (who helped bring Catholicism to the Emerald Isle), has evolved into a day when men and woman dress in all green, chug green beer, and typically make fools of themselves while demanding to be kissed because they’re 1/32 Irish.
Need a little history lesson to back up just how much this ‘holiday’ has changed? No problem.
Up until the 18th century, St. Patrick’s Day was a Roman Catholic feast that was observed only in Ireland. And guess what happened – every pub would close for the day and people could attend church…no tacky t-shirts in sight.
Modern St. Patrick’s Day, which we have all grown to love/hate, is a result of the Irish immigrants who began organizing the celebration around March 17th as a way of showing pride for their heritage and culture. (Leave it to North Americans to take a former religious holiday and turn it into a booze fest.)
So for everyone participating in the fun, here are ten things we predict you’ll be guilty of doing (at least one of) in the next 48hrs…
When it comes to celebrating St. Patrick’s Day, wearing something green is mandatory, otherwise you’ll be setting yourself up to get pinched, despite the colour being considered unlucky in Ireland. Most likely at some point you’ll also end up sporting a tacky pin that says “Kiss me, I’m Irish”, or some green beads that you found on the washroom floor, you classy devil.
Talking With an Irish Accent
As the drinks start flowing, so too will your Irish lilt. Before you know it, you’ll be using the word wee in every sentence and calling everyone lassies and lads.
Pretending You Have Irish Relatives
You’ll start sharing your family background with everyone, revealing that you are, in fact, basically, almost, at least honourably, 100 per cent Irish. Because having once met an Irish person is basically the same thing, right?
Drinking Green Beer
Oh, and it’ll be cheap green beer too.
It would be rude if you didn’t enjoy at least one pint of Guinness on March 17th. Speaking of which, over 13 million pints of Guinness are expected to be consumed on St. Patrick’s Day. Despite hating stouts the other 364 days of the year, today, Guinness is the only liquid thick enough to quench your thirst.
Going to an Irish Pub
Although St. Patrick’s Day house parties are fun, celebrating in a crowded Irish bar with plenty of party goers decked out in green is an exciting sight to see. Typically everyone bonds over their green pints and Irish Whiskeys, which leads us to our next point…
Inciting a Communal Sing-a-Long
Drunk people looooooove to sing. Fact. So you can always expect to hear at least one sloppy rendition of “Dirty Old Town”, “Irish Rover”, or “Danny Boy” being shouted by a group of drunken people on St. Patrick’s Day. Also, you’ll be in that group.
Pinching Anyone Not Wearing Green
If you really want to be cliché on St. Patrick’s Day, you need to pinch everyone that’s not wearing green, especially if they’re complete strangers. If you want to also be a complete a**hole that no one likes, keep pinching away.
Doing an Irish Jig
You’ve just slammed an Irish Car Bomb and a shot of Jameson and a classic Irish song by the Chieftains comes on. This is your cue to break into a leprechaun-like Irish Jig and dance around the party. No, no one knows what it actually looks like, so yes, you’re good to make it up as you go.
Trying to Find a Four Leaf Clover
At some point during the day while walking outside, you’ll have the urge to try and find the elusive four leaf clover. If trying to find a four leaf clover wasn’t hard enough already in your drunken state, there’s actually a 1 in 10,000 chance of finding one, or about the same odds that your St. Patrick’s Day Tinder date will work out in the long term.