Call us picky; we prefer particular. Either way, there are a few things that turn us off when it comes to first, second or third dates. Daters, take note…
You suggest a Friday or Saturday night as a first date timeslot
First dates (especially if you’ve never met in person) should be reserved for Monday-Thursday, and even Thursday is pushing it. When our workweeks are so crazy, those two precious weekend nights are valuable – you can’t just give one up to someone that you don’t know. Even if you actually don’t have any weekend plans, a weekend date means you don’t have as many excuses to cut the date short as you would on a weeknight and invites the potential for more alcohol consumption than usual for a first date… and nothing good can come from that.
You change dinner to drinks at the last minute
We can clearly recall a Saturday last year when, while at the gym at 3pm, we made plans to go for dinner with a guy (who’d we’d been on two dates with) before heading out to a girlfriend’s birthday night out. So we didn’t eat all afternoon in anticipation of dinner. At 7:30pm, we received the following text: “Hey I was hungry and already ate. Do you want to come over for wine before you head out instead?” Unacceptable. Always. Especially for those with “hangry” tendencies. It may have been forgivable had he told us hours prior when he made the decision to eat, and then we would have eaten as well. In general, though, if you just had to eat, you should keep it to yourself, not mention it at all, and simply order less than you normally would.
You “forget” your wallet in the car when buying theatre tickets at the door
The guy who changed dinner to drinks would be good friends with the guy who “forgets” his wallet. After not picking us up even though our place was on the way (resulting in a $25 cab ride), this guy waited for us outside the theatre, in the freezing cold, then told us that he forgot his wallet in the car… but apparently just realized right then because he didn’t think to stand in the growing line to purchase tickets in the first place. If you arrive first, purchase the tickets before the other arrives, then allow them to pick up the food and drink tab… or at least the first round.
You change the plans to “just come over” last minute
One guaranteed positive from any date, good or bad, is that you get to experience a new restaurant, coffee shop or concert in the process. Especially if you have yet to seal the deal with a sleepover, especially after carefully picking out an outfit, especially after blow drying and a two-hour “getting ready” routine, it is going to annoy us if you to tell us to “just come over” instead. The best part of the dating process is just that: dating.
You are rude to the restaurant hostess or service staff
Much about someone’s personality can be revealed in how they treat wait staff. If he or she is rude, condescending and talks down to the staff, this usually reveals a level of snobbery that many young professionals may not have time for. If they are demanding, make a million modifications to their meal and send food back, this is just a flash of what is to come. This person is likely difficult to please and high maintenance and dating him or her will likely mean a future of embarrassing restaurant (and likely even flight, dry cleaner and coffee shop) experiences, which will be the least of your worries.
You suggest the city’s hottest new place on a first date
Sure, we get that you want to impress with a suggestion of the newest restaurant or lounge, but this is never a good first date choice. Why? For starters, you are pretty much guaranteed to run into someone that you know, making for an awkward introduction and exposing your business. This only invites people to assume that the two of you are an item, even though you may have known two minutes in that they aren’t for you. Secondly, you’re likely to be too consumed with the new space – the décor, crowd and even menu – than the other person.
The first few dates are awkward enough; don’t make them worse than they need to be. Pick a place where conversation can be had, where food is an option, and where you can relax. And stick to the original plan.
Image courtesy of: Talk nerdy to me lover