Mary Wilkinson is a freelance copywriter in Toronto. Her words have helped sell everything from chocolate bars to integrated accounting solutions to vibrators. You can hit her up on LinkedIn.
Whether you meet her IRL or on POF, your subsequent text game will determine whether you lock down a date.
Which is why tips for the textually challenged are very important.
If you’ve got two left thumbs (and a bad text game), we feel bad for you, son.
1. Use Grown-Up Grammar
A grammar error is actually two failures in one. The first is your brain failing to absorb the basic rules you learned in grade school. The second is your decision not to read the text before sending. You want to impress the girl? Is she not worth the four-second proofread?
2. Say More
You can use proper grammar and still sound like a stupid teenager. Show this girl she’s worth the effort of texting a full, punctuated sentence.“Txt me when ur free” won’t get you nearly as far as: “Holler at me when you’ve got some free time and we’ll make a plan.”
3. Have a Life
Don’t text back right away or you’ll look too eager. This is the wrong way to look at it. It’s okay to be eager. You’re a confident dude and you’re confidently into this chick. But people with cool, fulfilling lives aren’t attached to their phone. And while you shouldn’t be convincing her you have a cool, fulfilling life, you should just HAVE ONE. Put your phone down, go do something fulfilling, and text her back in 20.
4. Go Easy on the Eggplant
They say a true artist knows when to put the paintbrush down. Same with emojis. A perfectly placed emoji can be artful. Sexy, even. But if you can’t stop using cute little pictures to express all of your thoughts, she’ll probably keep walking.
5. Leverage the Platform
People forget they have the Internet at their disposal when they text. Send her a GIF or a video or an awkward family photo. Something that adds just a little more value than a simple, “How’s your day?”
6. Master the Fade
A true gentleman has good text game even when he’s not interested. Either give it to her straight: “You seem lovely, but I’m just not interested. Take care!” Or just give her the fade and stop texting so she gets the picture. But you’re NOT being polite if you keep responding to her. She’s into it, you’re not, and you’re giving her false hope. Be real or be gone.
7. Cut to the Chase
It’s easy to get caught up in a never-ending text chat. But don’t forget why you’re chatting in the first place. After a few initial exchanges – segue to making plans. It doesn’t have to be smooth or slick. Just those five easy words: “Want to get a drink?”
8. Have the Balls to Call
No one likes to get real phone calls anymore. Unless of course, the call is from someone we like. So lads, if you’ve got a real set – call her. If she likes you, she’ll love it. If she doesn’t, you’ll know right away and the texting game will end there too.