Science Says There Are Four Types of Drunks – And They’re All Great

With most people, you know exactly what you’ll get after a night of excessive libation. There are emotional drunks, those who go into ‘grope mode’, some who take shift towards reckless violence, and others who attempt to deconstruct the universe.

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Sometimes we exercise a different designations depending on our level of intoxication on any given night – perhaps (hopefully not) in the same night – but often we express one tipsy type and become know as “that type of drunk.”

And there’s a very scientific reason behind that.

A recent study published in the University of Missouri at Columbia’s Addiction Research & Theory has concluded there are four kinds of drinkers, each embodied by the spirit by a pop culture icon: the Mary Poppins, the Ernest Hemingway, the Nutty Professor and the Mr. Hyde.

Here’s a breakdown of each, via TIME:

The Ernest Hemingways
Named for the writer who famously boasted that he could “drink hells any amount of whiskey without getting drunk,” Hemingways do not exhibit any major changes in personality when they transition from sober to drunk. Hemingways comprise 40% of the population.

The Mary Poppins
These merry drinkers follow the “practically perfect in every way” description Poppins bestows on herself in the 1964 movie: they are already outgoing types who somehow get sweeter and happier with alcohol.

The Nutty Professors
Named for the chemically-altered academic with a second personality immortalized by Eddie Murphy, they are natural introverts who shed their inhibitions with special vigour when they drink, showing a flashier and more social side.

The Mr. Hydes
These are evil-twin drinkers who are, according to the study, “particularly less responsible, less intellectual, and more hostile when under the influence of alcohol.”

So, which one are you?

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