Realty Bites: Let’s Share a Laugh

Real estate is NOT a dull business. On the contrary, it is often rather fun, especially because it involves people and their homes. And people are fun. Unless they are just creepy…

Last year, I worked closely with a couple from France that was eagerly looking to buy a house in the Plateau Mont-Royal. Every day, if not twice to three times a day, I would log onto my Matrix system (our version of and search for the newest listings on the market. Browse through thousands of pictures in the hopes of finding the perfect house is exactly what I did, day in and day out. After carefully selecting our preferred properties, we would head out for some visits. And boy, did we see all kinds of crazy things! It took a few trips out, but surely enough my clients finally found a place to call home.

I thought it would be fun to assemble a collection of some of the funniest real estate pictures I came across while searching for the perfect house in the Plateau. This collection certainly proves that real estate is from far being a boring business! What really boggles my mind is how some real estate brokers out there post such pictures – and some of these are actually million dollar listings!

I hope you have a good laugh; my clients and I certainly did!

1. Bed, Bath & Beyond – Way beyond indeed. If your girlfriend ever tells you to sleep on the couch, think of the next best alternative you have. Not only can you bathe in your tub and release the stress she has caused you, but you can sleep in it too!

2. It’s Party Time! – Whenever I send a photographer over to take pictures of a new listing, I always make sure he makes the brick wall stand out. What better way than doing so with balloons?

3. Read to Relax – “A great book should leave you with many experiences, and slightly exhausted at the end. You live several lives while reading (William Styron).” Or just have a seat in this crazy library room, no book required… you’ll be exhausted in no time.

4. “Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Who Is the Fairest of Them All?” – Well, if you don’t like what the first one has to say, just ask the other three!

5. Happy Birthday! – Here is your gift: it’s called “clutter.” Enjoy…cleaning up, that is.

6. Is that Mary Poppins? – Quote from the movie: “Stay awake, don’t rest your head. Don’t lie down upon your bed. While the moon drifts in the skies… Stay awake, don’t close your eyes. Though the world is fast asleep, though your pillow’s soft and deep, you’re not sleepy as you seem; stay awake, don’t nod and dream… Stay awake… don’t nod… and… dream.” Fine Mary, I won’t!

7. Indoor Plants – Who knew plants could grow on a staircase!?

8. Office Time! – Going to the office is never fun. Can you blame the girl on the door for looking so angry? She is literally stuck at the office.

9. Beautiful Bathroom – Now tell us please, what kind of drugs do you keep in your medicine cabinet? And aren’t those supposed to be toothbrushes that go in the cup?

10. Laws of Gravity – Best way to keep the kitchen counters clean and clear? Hang EVERYTHING!

11. Boost Your Confidence! – Want to feel skinny? Easy! No need to keep a scale, go to the bathroom and compare yourself to the girl on the wall.

12. Wonderland – Can someone tell me how kids can sleep at night in such a mystical decor?

13. No Dessert Until You Eat Your Vegetables! – Leave it up to the two dudes on the wall to freak your children out. Guaranteed, those vegetables will be eaten…

14. Simplifying Motherhood – Your newborn baby can’t read or talk, so just in case you forget his name, it’s Charlie…

15. The Purple House – If the purple man lives in the purple house, the yellow man lives in the yellow house, and the blue man lives in the blue house, who lives in the white house? The President!

16. Traffic Signs – Wise words of a control freak housewife: “Stay out of the kitchen. This is no man’s land.”

17. Boo! – Welcome to our lovely and friendly home. Please come in, the wicked witch of the Plateau is here to show you around.

18. Beautiful Garden – Realtor’s description: “Nature’s retreat in the heart of the city.” Come on! These people can’t be for real? Landscaping, anyone?

19. Butler at your service – At the right price, perhaps we can get the sellers to include him in the sale?

20. Privacy Please! – Yo dude, do you really have to watch me shower?

Let me know which of these pictures is your favourite. Alternatively, drop a suggestion in the comments if you know of another real estate picture, ad or commercial that you think deserves a spot on my list.

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