There’s a reason why most guys claim that they either have a “psycho ex” or a “crazy girl” who they’ve quickly changed their minds about after a few dates.
It’s pretty easy to label someone as such if they don’t behave like contained, emotionless robots, after all. But the story is getting slightly old, as former dates, lovers and significant others are ever so quick to toss out the “crazy” designation about females from their past. I’ve seen in happen on both first dates and in conversations with guy friends and family members.
I’ve done it myself.
Sure, there are people who are the reason that Instagram accounts like “Texts From Your Ex” and “Ex Texts” exist. We’ve all seen screen grabs of text messages that are shocking displays of emotional unrest and erratic behaviour. We often laugh about them. Trust me, I’ve experienced some pretty horrific behaviour from a woman a boyfriend was involved with prior to me.
And yes, it was alarming. It was “crazy.”
Though I have been quick to call a guy “crazy” too for one reason or another, more often than not it’s the ladies who get the brunt of the name-calling. You know it’s true.
Of course, behaviour like harassment, stalking and showing up at someone’s place unexpectedly and causing a scene are cause for major concern. But, honestly, these behaviours may suggest an underlying mental illness. And mental illness is absolutely nothing to joke about.
It’s another issue altogether, and the reason why casual use of the term “crazy” makes me uneasy.
There are also totally normal human behaviours for which females get labelled “crazy.” If you think she is “crazy” for any of these reasons, you very well may be the “crazy” one.
A female who is seasoned in dating and life knows exactly what she is looking for in a partner and a relationship. She has goals. So if she tells you on the first date that she wants to be married with a child in three years (in general, not necessarily with you, thanks), she’s just being honest. Not crazy.
She is Emotionally Available.
There are still some of out there who believe in old-school romance and passion. Unlike so many wall-protected people in our cities, the emotionally available won’t hold back. She’ll tell you if she’s into you. Though it may be increasingly rare in our dating culture, she is expressing her feelings and telling you what she thinks – not being crazy.
She Won’t Put Up With Your Nonsense.
One thing I’ve noticed about many men is their ability to flip their misdoings into yours (or at least try to). The thing is, when they screw up, our reaction may not always be ideal. But a lot of men tend to focus on the reaction rather than the cause of it. If she has a problem, any self-respecting female would speak up. She’s (likely rightfully) angry at you. Not crazy.
She Doesn’t Play Games.
If she texts back too quickly (or calls), always answers your calls, tells you she’s into you early on, is always reliable and on time, that means that she doesn’t play calculated games – not that she’s desperate or clingy. An increasing rarity, she’s straightforward. Not crazy.
She is in Love with You.
There’s a reason they call love a drug. Once you’re under its grip, you may do things completely out of character. She may call you during the middle of a busy workday just to say hi, or send you quotes or mushy texts out of nowhere. She may even break plans with her girlfriends to stay in with you. That all could mean that she loves you. Not that she’s crazy.
She is Brokenhearted.
Most of us have been on both sides of heartbreak by now. And most of us know the raw, deep feeling of a broken heart can make you do “crazy” things. Heartbreak can make any human do things like reach out when they probably shouldn’t, send a novel of text messages, and call twice at 2am. But she’s grieving and trying to process the situation at the same time. Not being crazy.
The problem isn’t whether or not a woman is any of these things; the problem comes when she tries to suppress them. And the more we fear being labeled as “crazy,” at the judgement of men, the less real we are being with ourselves.
And even if we are a little “crazy,” it’s better than boring.