It’s that time of year again: wedding season. Perhaps you have been asked to be a best man or maid of honour; though the title is flattering and a cementing gesture between friends and family, it may also be panic-inducing when the realization sets in that you will have to say a speech. Not any speech, though, but one that needs to be worthy enough for one of the most monumental days in the bride or groom’s lives and a speech that will be given in front of all of your close peers… with the inevitable ex or frenemy in attendance. Yikes. Luckily, past few years have been oversaturated with weddings and we learned a thing or two by baring witness to the good, bad and ugly of the best man and maid of honour speeches.
Plan, Don’t Wing It
We can’t stress the importance of planning ahead enough. Even if you are the best public speaker in your city, or the funniest person among your group of friends and a master of being “on the spot,” plan ahead. You don’t just want to make this incredibly life-defining day as best you can for your friend, but you want to enjoy your time as well. We have seen wedding speech givers ruin their personal time at the ceremony during the day and the early hours of the reception because they were ill-prepared and freaking out about the speech they had scribbled on a cocktail napkin the evening prior. Not to mention, if you are last minute in your planning, you will likely spend the days following the wedding lamenting over the stories you could have told.
Make a Proper Introduction
Start off by introducing yourself; don’t assume that everyone in the room will know who you are. Explain how you know the bride or groom and thank them for the honour they have afforded you. Furthermore, ask the bride or groom if there is any housekeeping duties they would like you to share with the audience and any other announcements or introductions that need to be made.
Don’t Forget to Compliment
Always, always say something positive about the bride and how stunning she looks. Also, mention how great the rest of the wedding party looks and comment on the choice of venue (even if you hate it).
Stay Sober
Yes, there is something to be said for liquid courage and the more relaxed vibe that a glass of wine or beer allows. But, seriously, if you’re drunk it could magically work in your favour, rendering you funnier, more relaxed and appropriately animated. Most likely, it won’t. It will only make for a regret-filled morning, possible inappropriate anecdotes filled with TMI and potentially forgetting your punch lines. Don’t be this girl.
Get Creative
Especially in this day of rampant social media sharing and video technology, savvy YPs have seen it all. Make sure that your desire to be creative does not do so at the expense of the heartfelt message you were trying to convey. Creativity can come in the form of a performance (this recent video of an Eminem-rapping maid of honour recently went viral), a poem, props (as in an old yearbook, sticker and note-filled junior high agenda), or surprise video footage of times long ago. While speeches that are humourous are always well received, don’t try too hard to be a comedian if you’re not or use it as a chance to shine in the spotlight yourself. Case in point: this guy.
Make it Personal
The most memorable speeches are those that are colourful, peppered with stories, heartfelt words and sentiments about the bride or groom. In preparing, think of the first five adjectives that come to mind when you think about your friend or family member. Describe how the groom or bride were before they met and how they have changed since knowing them. Think about whether there are any personal anecdotes that illustrate exactly who the bride or groom is, based on these adjectives.
Remain Appropriate
We have seen speeches that have resulted in everything from awkward glances and rolls of the eye to tears from the bride. Remember that your audience includes a total mixed bag of friends, family and coworkers of the bride and groom, all of whom may have varying sets of values, senses of humour and levels of uptightness. A little embarrassment is funny for the group, but be careful not to go too far with your jokes. Off limits: stories of exes, crushes and one night stands of the bride or groom, stories of drunk or defiant behaviour, or times of tragedy or personal failure on the part if the bride or groom, even if trying to illustrate a positive point.
Be Yourself and Don’t Worry About the Audience
We have seen the physical demeanour and voice of fellow YPs change drastically the second they stand in front of a crowd. Instead of remaining the natural person that they are, they get caught up in the idea of the speech. Be yourself. Don’t worry that your ex is in the crowd, new boyfriend or girlfriend by their side, or the fact that the your speech is likely being videotaped, photographed and social media’d as you speak. Finally, try to remain natural by not reading directly from your notes. Find our Notable public speaking tips here.
End on a Positive Note
Don’t forget to end your speech on a positive note and include your best wishes for the couple and the future of your friendship and memories that will be made.
Good luck!
