No. It’s one of the first words we learn, but one that is sometimes difficult for grown young professionals to say, whether in business or personal relationships. Do you have a desire to please everyone? If so, your pushover tendencies may be causing more harm than good. Here’s why…
Your habit of taking on too much may cause you to over-promise and under-deliver
No matter how good your intentions are, or how driven you may be, if you can’t say no, you will likely find you have taken on more than you can handle. It is always better to do a few things well than a bunch of things in a scattered manner, with all the items on your never-ending to-do list not receiving your full attention and commitment. If your self-inflicted commitments are work-related, you may end up physically and mentally exhausting yourself as you work round the clock, losing precious hours of sleep and much-needed time for your brain to recharge.
May sever relationships
If you are the person to constantly say yes, the odd time you have to decline may come to a surprise to your friends or colleagues, creating tension, a rift or a guilt trip. If for example, you are the type of friend who never misses a birthday party, engagement party or wedding (even if you have to hit multiple celebrations in one night) and for some reason beyond your control you have to miss a baby shower, the host may take it more personally because it is out of your character. The same can be said with work tasks and projects.
Can’t do what you really want
If you spend your life trying to please everyone else, you will never get to do anything for yourself. As such, if you agreed to spend the afternoon apple picking with your in-laws when you really wanted to have a “me day” on a Sunday, that one precious day of the week you had plan-free, your mind may be focused on that manicure, workout, brunch and shopping trip that will now have to wait another week. If you would rather be elsewhere, you will be unable to be fully present and enjoy the moment in what you reluctantly agreed to do instead.
You will be taken for granted
If people have started to take notice that you never say no, they may continually ask (or even demand) things of you. If you are seen as lacking a backbone, friends, family and colleagues may, either intentionally or not, end up taking advantage of you, knowing that you will so complacently agree to anything.
Lose the respect of others
When you lack a backbone, so easily agreeing to the thoughts, opinions and actions of others, you won’t be regarded as capable of forming your own opinions, causing others to see you as meek and more of a follower than a leader. Those who are viewed as such may also have a more difficult time in the work when it comes to moving up the corporate ladder as their ability as a manger is doubted or questioned. In terms of relationships, time and time again we see them crumble because one counterpart becomes complacent and the relationship loses its healthy dose of challenge of one another that is so necessary to keeping the spark alive.
As we get older, we come to realize that we can’t always accept every invitation that graces our inbox, somehow manage to make an appearance in four places throughout one evening, or agree to every favour asked of us at work or family members. Sometimes, it can and should be all about you.