Jury (Appropriately) Rules $0 for Man Who Spilled Hot Coffee on Himself

Matthew and Melonie Kohr were seeking $750,000 in damages from Starbucks after an allegedly “faulty” cup caused Mr. Kohr to spill hot coffee all over his lap and suffer third degree burns; burns that allegedly provoked an aggressive agitation of his Crohn’s disease, resulting in the need for emergency surgery to remove a portion of his intestines. 

Of the $750,000 demanded, they got zero dollars

Turns out that nobody could prove anything was wrong with the cup or the coffee that Matthew was given – aside from the fact that on the Starbucks cup, his name was spelled with three Ts, a ‘Y’, and a smudged hashtag.

The Kohrs’ lawyer said they’re disappointed with the verdict, Starbucks said they’re pleased with the decision, and the rest of us were like, “So does that mean we can stop ordering soup now?” 

Since the infamous 1994 Liebeck v. McDonald’s Restaurants product liability lawsuit, there have been several similar cases. Probably because after 79-year-old Liebeck’s lawyer successfully argued that 82Celsius was too dangerous a temperature at which to serve coffee, a jury voted to give her $2.7 million in punitive damages… or a lifetime supply of Iced Frappuccino. 
However, since that landmark 1994 case, suits like McMahon v. Bunn-O-MaticBogle & Others v. McDonald’s Restaurants LtdPerez v Burger King Corporation and Strategic Restaurants Acquisition Company, LLC, and various other attacks on companies daring enough to serve hot liquids have not been yielding lucrative results for plaintiffs. 

It turns out that the “Coffee is supposed to be hot, and we know that you know that, so we’re not paying a Klutz Tax” defense is starting to really hold up over time. 

So next time you’re looking to make a quick and painful 500 Gs, spare yourselves the skin grafting and stick to the more credible stuff, like yummy-looking laundry detergent and poor guidance on how to eat artichokes.

Or, you know…be careful.
Title image courtesy of Cracked.com
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