Life in our cities isn’t cheap.
Between rent and mortgages, ridiculous Rogers bills, entertaining our new-found inner foodie, dressing in clothes that make us feel good, and at least attempting to save for retirement (or even just a rainy day), life is damn expensive.
And that doesn’t include all the extras that increasingly become “essentials” (and sweet social media material), like a couple of five-star vacations a year, a golf or ski club membership, and weekend getaways with the guys or ladies.
But if we think life is expensive now, it’s only going to get worse when kids come into the picture. As hard-working and driven as we may be, the option to “marry rich” is tempting for some. You’d never have to worry about anything, right?
Um, yeah, that’s funny.
If you opt solely for the “money” side of the love or money coin, trust us when we say you’ll end up earning every cent of your lavish life.
You Sell Your Soul
If the dollar signs are your partner’s main draw, then be prepared to have the soul sucked right out of you over the years – that and your passion for anything relationship-related that money can’t buy. Remember when you were younger and your checklist of so-called “requirements” didn’t exist and you fell organically, stupidly, hopelessly in love? Though your jaded heart may not be capable of falling as hard and freely it once did (a couple of heartbreaks will do that to you), are you prepared to give up on that romcom-esque soul mate type of love? Or at least the hope for it?
So, how much is your soul worth – and are you ready to part with it?
You Put a Price Tag on Your Passion
If money is your motivating factor in committing to someone, you can pretty much expect your sex life to take a quick nosedive a few years into marriage. Maintaining a healthy sex life six years into a marriage is a challenge enough for couples who are hopelessly in love – and if you’d rather have sex with his or her wallet than you would them from the start, you’re in for a life full of porn coupled with an intense and inevitable desire to stray.
Are you ready to put a price tag on your passion, then kiss it goodbye to the highest bidder?
Your Sense of Control Comes at a Cost
No matter how much we pretend otherwise, if there’s a huge imbalance in wealth between the two of you, the one with the dough is more times than not going to have the upper hand when it comes to your personal finances – and likely your relationship in general. The more dependent you are on the other person, the less control you have. The less control you have, the worse you feel about yourself. It’s a simple equation. Especially if a loving, passionate foundation was absent from your relationship from the beginning, the one with the control may feel entitled to indulge in certain behaviors – from simple disrespect, to becoming serial cheaters a la Tiger Woods – because they’re the ones controlling the purse strings. Exhibit A: Sam Smith’s “I’m Not the Only One” video.
Is the cost of giving up control worth the perks?
You May Be Traded In
Even after essentially selling your soul, passion, and control – perhaps living a life defined by the other person in the process – there are no guarantees that you won’t be traded in for a newer, shinier model before too long. After all, if all you’re bringing to the table is your looks, as this now famous Wall Street analysis of a gold digger Craigslist response points out, you’re a depreciating asset. If you’re looking for someone to hold your wrinkly hand and race wheelchairs with at 80 “for better or for worse,” don’t rely on that rich dude or the powerful sugar mama. Odds are they’ll be long gone. And if you’ve been fully reliant on his or her pockets, then you would have already experienced a major lifestyle change when they kicked you to the curb (perhaps quite literally).
Yes, marrying rich may allow you to enjoy a dozen vacations a year, a team of personal staff, and royalty-worthy meals. But once you spend time with your “normal” friends from back in the day and witness how happy they are with their “for love” relationships, part of you will inevitably question why you decided to walk down that (very expensive) aisle in the first place. You may be “well-married” but lonelier than ever and unable to contain that inner green-eyed monster as you wish you too had a simple kind of love.
So go ahead, marry solely for money if you want – but be prepared to earn every penny in the process.