If 40 is the New 20, What Would You Do the Second Time Around?

When I was in my early 20s, I had a list of things that I wanted to accomplish, one of which was to write a novel. I remember sitting in a specific Cafe, on a cobblestone back alley street in a southern California town; hanging out with friends, discussing Bukowski, Kerouac, JD Salinger, reading Beat poetry and Pablo Neruda. We, too, were going to challenge the world with our thoughts. I was blessed to be in an artistic and educational environment surrounded by actors, musicians, and writers. Everyone at that point in our young careers was actively creating their work, whether it was crafting a song, poem, book, or play.  We were a modern day version of the literary lioness, Dorothy Parker, and her vicious circle of contemporaries. 

I reference ‘vicious circle’ for a couple of reasons, one of which is that the vicious circle (of life) pencils itself in far too quickly. Before you know it, 20 becomes 30-something, and that novel still isn’t completed. Life gets in the way; such a trite saying, but oh…so…true. An artistic or educational haven, perhaps paid for in part by parents, parlays itself into the actuality of a bill-paying environment. Still, one’s pursuits can prevail.   

However, our aspirations at 20 aren’t exactly the same as what we want as we move through our 30s. I still want to write that novel – well, novella now – and it is a work in progress, so that’s something. But for the most part, there are a lot of career and lifestyle elements that change as we get older.

My father once told me, years back, that the most interesting people he has ever met have changed professions at least a handful of times.

That’s encouraging for sure, but how and when do you stop pursuing the only occupation that you’ve ever known and embark on a different endeavour?

I know, I know, I can hear people’s voices right now, “Stop when you are no longer interested in something.” But here’s the thing: when one has been working in a certain field for 15 years, is accustomed to a particular lifestyle, and has specific education and employment resources, it’s not that easy to simply change everything. Not that easy at all.

People who cannot invent and reinvent themselves must be content with borrowed postures, secondhand ideas, fitting in instead of standing out.

– Warren G. Bennis

Okay. 

But how to begin?

Maybe it starts with the small stuff. Set your alarm for 6:30am rather than the customary 7:00am wakeup, so you can appreciate that VERY first part of the morning; you might want to eat more fruit and drink more water; you should probably enjoy a little less poutine; cross train, just do it; take that Spanish class, you already have the book; get rid of a vice (everybody has one); learn to play the guitar; volunteer; do yoga. These are fairly easy amendments, except for perhaps the yoga if you’re anything like me.

Once these progressive changes have been accomplished, and an adventurous frame of mind has been achieved, focus can be directed toward the more difficult task of investigating another profession. Most people already know, in general, what excites and interests them. Explore those types of job opportunities. Definitely think outside of the box. Reach out to friends and acquaintances for possible employment prospects – you may be surprised at the connections that can be made. Last case scenario (or maybe first), I recently overheard someone say, “If you can’t find a job that you enjoy, then start a company.”

Dorothy Parker’s artistic group of friends was comprised of a collection of accomplished writers, critics, and entertainers who met every day for lunch at the Algonquin Hotel in NYC from 1919-1929. There, they traded wits, tested one another’s intelligence, and amused themselves with practical jokes. Eventually they became known as ‘The Vicious Circle’ after a cartoonist sketched the group sitting at a round table wearing armor. As the years progressed, most members of the group moved on and eventually drifted apart. This became quite apparent when one such member arrived for lunch and saw that a family of tourists from Kansas occupied their usual table. Nothing lasts forever.

Nobody can stop their own circle of life from penciling itself in; our time here rolls on by.

However, we all have not only the ability, but also a responsibility to continuously explore our opportunities for reinvention.

My mother recently asked me, if I was 20 again, what would I do the second time around? This is not about what I would do differently, because I’m quite proud of what I did the first time around.  But, rather, what other curiosities would I be interested in pursuing?  When I told her, she said, well, what’s stopping you from doing those things right now?

If 40 is the new 20, that second time around is fast approaching.