How to Survive Your Night Out on New Year’s Eve 2016

NYE is, for many, the most highly anticipated night of the year.

The mood is high, everyone is in celebratory spirits, and there’s a good chance your favourite watering hole is putting on an extra special event for the night.

And while the conditions are ripe for the blowout of the decade, there’s something about New Year’s Eve that always seems to fall short of our (huge) expectations.

So here are some pointers to guide you towards your greatest New Year’s Eve yet.

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Pace Yourself
New Year’s Eve is a marathon not a sprint. A quick tipple while you get ready, followed by pre-drinks, culminating in a shot before you leave the house can quickly add up to a hammering before you’ve even reached your destination. Channel the tortoise this NYE – slow and steady wins the race (if the race is not being denied entry to the bar).

Do Not Wear High Heels
Read also: uncomfortable new shoes. Tonight is not the night to break in your latest footwear. It may be the biggest night of the year and pressure to look your best is understandable. But if your shoes are filling with blood or you’re hailing cabs, blistered and barefoot through town, it’s unlikely that anyone is going to remember what your outfit looked like six hours ago.

Lower Your Expectations
We’re not meaning to be a party pooper and there’s no reason this can’t be an evening to remember. But when the clubs and bars you normally go to on a Saturday night are heaving with people, charging exorbitant entrance prices and nigh on impossible to order a drink from, we can begin to wonder why we didn’t just stay at home with a mickey. That’s no reason to quit – just don’t let the hype take hold.

Do Not Forget Your I.D.
The bouncers are not going to care if you’ve been going to this bar for ten years and have a drinking habit that’s been putting the bartenders kids through college. It’s simple – if you don’t have I.D on NYE, you’re not getting in. Don’t end your night before it’s even begun. If bouncers ask for your I.D., you hand it over and kid yourself that you did such a good job getting ready you shaved ten years off your DOB.

Get Your Hangover Cures Ready
Big night, medium night – however the evening goes there is a strong probability you will arrive home extremely tired and ready to face plant into your pillow. To give yourself even the smallest glimmer of hope that you may avoid hangover hell come January 1, a pre-organised glass of water and Advil on your nightstand is of paramount importance. Bonus points if you’ve already picked up a Gatorade for the morning.

Arrange Your Exit Strategy Ahead of Time
Whether that means organising to stay at a friends or making sure a group of you leave together so that you can share a cab home – do not stagger into the street and start hailing a cab alone, miles away from home. Along with your toxic hangover, a receipt for a $80 taxi ride pulled out of your wallet the morning after is going to make you feel pretty sick. Also, beware the Uber surge.

Get There in Plenty of Time
On a regular night you might not even call a cab until 12.30am. But this isn’t your average evening so you’re probably going to have to think about organising yourself a little in advance. The peak of the evening is when the ball drops at midnight, so make sure you arrive ahead of this. Waiting at the bar at 11.59 pm for a drink to toast the New Year is not how you want to start 2016, so give yourself a little leeway.

Prepare Emergency Drunk Food
It’s been a long, expensive night and even though you’re famished, there’s absolutely no way you’re standing in line at Burrito Boyz for 40 minutes so you can pass out face-first into your fajita. Plan to have something reasonable in the fridge that you can grab upon your return. This does not include anything that involves operating a stovetop or oven while inebriated. Think sandwich, not spaghetti Bolognese from scratch.

Take Out Cash and Leave Your Card at Home
Sure, no one wants a scenario in which they are stranded without a credit card. However, far more likely, you will end up in good company, swept up in NYE fever declaring “shots for everyone!” to the barman, as you spend far beyond your means. If you only take out as much as you’re willing to spend (with an emergency buffer of $20) you’re at least limiting the amount of poor life choices made.

Do Not Make Plans for January 1
Unless your plans are to watch old movies and spend time praying at the Porcelain Altar, you will be missing any appointments you made for the morning after New Year’s Eve. Do yourself a favour and politely decline any invitations to museums, strolls in the country, or dinner at the in-laws. Dedicate the first day of the year to recovering from the last day of last year.

Start Your Resolutions on January 2
If eating well, drinking less, and visiting the gym regularly sound like things you could actually do in the earliest infancy of 2016, then more power to you. If, however, it sounds like a recipe for self-loathing and quitting your New Year’s resolutions prematurely, commit to starting them on the second of the month, or maybe even your first week back at work.

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