How Not to Deal With a Broken Heart

There is no right way to deal with a broken heart. Much like grieving a death, everyone does it differently. There are, however, ways not to deal with a broken heart – tried and failed methods to dealing with the pain observed through members of young professional circles. 

Don’t Become a Train Wreck
This happens all too often with young professionals. Some people are not the type to sit at home alone with a box of tissues and comfort food and need to be out and about, surrounded by people. But it is impossible to drink away a broken heart. Odds are you are going to make a fool out of yourself (don’t be the girl crying in the bathroom or the guy pouring his heart out to the bartender), or you could even end up in someone’s bed in an attempt to follow Samantha Jones’ advice that “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.” Wild nights usually result in feeling even worse the next day, both from the hangover because the booze is a depressant.

Know When to Give Up
The biggest problem in dealing with a break up is the inability to move past the point of denial and accept that (no matter how amazing you are) the other person does not want to be with you. No amount of convincing, begging, pleading or bargaining is going to help your cause if he or she doesn’t feel the same way and has already made up their mind.  Us stubborn YPs like to be in control of all aspects of our lives, but things like these can’t be forced. Throw all your expectations of rekindling out the door so that if he or she changes their minds and “sees the light,” you’ll be pleasantly surprised. 

Don’t Revert Back to Exes or Recycles
Time after time we see this in guys and girls alike in the months immediately following a breakup: the return to someone from their past. Either to ease the shock and fill the void of being alone, because they are not ready to fully move on from the one who broke their hearts, or because it is easy and familiar, heartbroken YPs can often be found in the arms of an ex. This behavior is only going to provide a “quick fix” as the other person inevitably remains a second choice; not to mention it is not fair to him or her, whose heart you could have very well broken once before.

Don’t Take it So Personally
A break up is enough to send even the most confident YP into a depression and results in insecurity as they second guess themselves and wonder what’s wrong with me? Get over it.  People get broken up with all the time – supermodels and brain surgeons alike. Something we were once told by an ex: “I don’t deserve you,” and it was true. There are many different reasons for a breakup, many of them circumstantial, so there is no need to blame yourself or wonder where you went wrong.

Avoid Awkward Run-Ins
As strong as you think you are, you don’t know how difficult the sight of your ex is to stomach until he or she is in front of your face. Even worse is if he or she is with someone else. Avoid all situations with the potential of such encounters until your heart has healed. The alternative is a recipe for a tearful disaster. 

Know it will Get Better
For all the tears, lonely mornings waking up alone and missing the other person so much it physically hurts, know that it can only get better in time. In grieving a relationship, it can take over a year (only after you to go through all the seasons) to fully heal. Try not to become jaded. Anyone who has had their heart broken knows that it is not something they would like to experience again and is left slightly guarded as a result. Guarded is ok, but if you are not open to finding love and happiness again, it’s not going to happen.