Home Depot Pulls Halloween Decoration, Society is Officially Soft Beyond Repair

R.I.P. Halloween (1745-2016).

Following easily dismissible pressure, Home Depot said it will ban a line of Halloween decorations for not being in line with its “core values.” The offensive prop in question is a line of Scary Peeper Creepers, which, truth be told, is pretty terrifying – a.k.a fulfilling its purpose.

The Peeper Creeper is essentially a head with hands that can be propped up against a window to give the impression that someone is staring into your window.

Home Depot decided to pull the menacing doll from its shelves after an Ontario teacher complained to CBC News that it is “inappropriate and makes light of a real-life, sinister issue that women face in our society.”

Image: Screenshot, via HomeDepot.com

Image: screenshot, via HomeDepot.com

You know what else is sinister? Skeletons, tombstones, zombies, and other allusions to corpses, all of which are readily available at your nearest home improvement supplies superstore.

“We agree that this is not in line with our core values and when we heard, we took immediate action and have removed this product from our assortment at Home Depot Canada,” wrote Home Depot Canada director of communications Paul Berto in confirming the woman’s right to take offense on behalf of the entire world.

As the Huffington Post points out, penalties for those convicted of voyeurism in Canada can result in six months in prison and/or a fine of $2,000. Murder, mutilation, beheading, etc., all of which are implied by Home Depot’s assortment of still-on-shelves Halloween decor, are also punishable.

The woman who filed the complaint said she’s “glad” about Home Depot’s decision, adding that “it takes some talking and thinking to realize that maybe we need to be more sensitive.”

Please, no.

We rue the day October 31 turned into a safe space.

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