Sometimes break-up warning signs are not so easy to spot, especially if the one destined to be dumped is in denial of the warning signs, ignoring them on purpose and hoping things will get better or is plain blindsided all together. Knowing them makes it easier to prepare for the inevitable break-up, or even beat the other to the punch in doing so. Here are five red flags that a break-up may be in your near future, whether you like it or not.
His/Her Friends are Distant
A major sign of a break-up is when you see less and less of your significant other’s friends. Chances are, your SO has consulted the trusty advice of his or her circle of friends and they may be aware of the impending break-up weeks before you are. Friends may subsequently avoid you at all costs, because they don’t want to say the wrong thing, don’t want to become too attached to you or may even feel guilty being near you due to their inside information. Perhaps they even have a bad taste in their mouths of you due your SO airing his or her (one-sided) grievances of you. The increased distance of your SO’s friends may be facilitated by your SO, who may stop inviting you along to events and occasions with his or her friends in attempt to distance his or her two worlds in preparation for the impending dump.
Change in Fighting Frequency
Some break-ups are most definitely foreshadowed by screaming matches, snapping at one another, and abrupt text messages; these are obvious signs that the relationship is in trouble. Your SO may even pick fights with you in attempt to turn the situation around and not look like the “bad guy” once the break-up is addressed. Another warning sign, however, may be when the fighting stops all together. If things that used to get on your SO’s nerves and provoke arguments, jealousy or tears are met with zero reaction; this doesn’t necessarily mean that he or she has accepted or even embraced your behaviour. Rather, it could mean that he or she has lost emotional investment in the relationship and simply doesn’t care anymore. Caring would require too much effort and energy, which he or she may simply be drained of.
Yes, we young professionals live busy lives and things like new jobs or taking on a side project may mean we see our SO less from time to time. A warning sign of an impending breakup, however, is when your SO makes less and less of an effort to spend time with you in the absence of any change to his or her life. He or she may suddenly have plans on “date night,” may stop making an effort to do “couple-y” things together and seem to have an excuse to any attempt you make to hang out. He or she may wait until the very last minute to make plans with you, just in case something more enticing comes along. They may all of a sudden have new groups of friends, especially those who may like to party. In fact, they may be partying harder than they did in university.
Decrease in Intimacy
Countless couples who have been together for years will tell you that, after a certain length of time and comfort level, sex is not as exciting as in the beginning and needs to be spiced up from time to time. Young professionals lead busy and hectic lives as well and are sometimes rightfully too drained to do anything but pass out the second their head hits the pillow. But if he or she is about to break up with you, chances are they are going to pull away sexually by making excuses, becoming lazy in bed or wanting to “get it over with.” Or sex might just become sex – free of kissing, love making or cuddling afterward. He or she may pull back when you go to cuddle on the couch during your favourite TV shows. Even worse is the pat on the back during a hug that was once a long embrace, with the pat on the back symbolizing friendship or uneasiness…or both.
They Try to Look Their Best
We say time and again that people look better single. Haven’t you ever broken up with that person, only to see him or her out months later to think, “Why didn’t they look like that when we were dating?!” A person who is about to leave a relationship will make sure he or she is physically prepared to do so. They will begin to take greater care with their appearance, hitting the gym more than they ever have, visiting the hair salon, taking a new-found interest in the art of body waxing and even updating his or her wardrobe.
We don’t mean to freak you out, and we understand that there may be different reasons and perfectly viable explanations for the aforementioned behavior, but if you are experiencing two or more of these characteristics you may soon find yourself in the ice cream isle of the supermarket. Alone.