Don’t Feel Too Bad: Oscar Losers Are Going to Take Home a $168,000 Swag Bag

If you’re an Oscar-nominee, you won’t go home empty-handed on Sunday even if you don’t score yourself some golden hardware. 

Some of Hollywood’s finest losers will walk away from this year’s 87th Annual Academy Awards with $168,000 worth of swag – well, $ $167,586.76, to be exact.

Sounds like they’re all “winning” to us.

Los Angeles-based marketing company Distinctive Assets’ “Everyone Wins at the Oscars Nominee Gift Bag” has been offering their ‘bag’ for 13 years. And in 2015, it will be offered to 21 famous faces, including the host and all the losing nominees in the Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, and Best Director categories.

While last year’s swag bag broke records at a value of $85,000, this year’s crushes them.

So what exactly is inside?

Here are just some of the highlights.

An LG Tone Infinim wireless headset ($149.99 ).

A six-pack of herbal-tea-based lollipops from Dosha Pops in a 24K edible gold leaf assortment ($68).

A portable Haze Vaporizer ($249).

A travel pillow from NapAnywhere ($69).

Washington State apples from Ambrosia Apples ($75).

Two six-packs of Naked Luxery Condoms ($56).

A vibrator from Afterglow Science ($250).

A trio of specially designed bracelets or silk ties from Jan Lewis Designs ($300).

Ten sessions with celebrity trainer Alexis Seletzky ($900).

Healing Saint products from Wellness 360 ($1,200). 

A VIP tour to a private sea-salt preserve in the South of France from La Baleine Natural Mediterranean Sea Salts ($1,548). 

A signed piece of art from Hollywood artist and photographer Ron Kennedy Roecker ($300). 

A wearable liposuction device from Ventura Lipo-Light ($4,068).

A “O-Shot” couples procedure to kick start sex drives ($5,000).

A gift certificate to Candy Vixen‘s custom candy and dessert buffet  ($800).

A home spa system from Steamist ($5,060).

A gift voucher for a seven-day retreat from The Golden Door ($1,072).

A designer bike with an automatic transmission from Martone Cycling ($1,200).

Prints from Los Angeles artist Gunner Fox ($5,000).

A family-portrait session and a 40″ X 50″ framed portrait from Lifestyle Photography ($5,000).

A piece of custom-designed furniture from EF+Facto ($28,000).

A Italian luxury hotel package that includes a three-night stay in a suite at Villa Armena in Tuscany, a three-night stay at the Grand Hotel Tremezzo in Lake Como, and a three-night stay at the Grand Hotel Excelsior Vittoria ($11,500).

A glamour camping trip from TerraVelo Tours that includes surfing, horseback riding, hot-air-balloon rides, and more ($12,500). 

A 10,000 meal donation of Halo Natural Pet Food from to the shelter or rescue of choice along with samples of Halo food for their pet ($6,270).

A lifestyle makeover from Reset Yourself ($14,239).

A $14,584 luxury rail trip through the Canadian Rockies from Rocky Mountaineer

Audi rentals for an entire year from Silvercar ($20,000).

A gift certificate from Enigma Life to have the founder fly out and tell each Oscar nominee and host his or her 2015 horoscope ($20,000).

As we mentioned, this is only a glimpse of the swag they’ll receive. So yeah, don’t feel bad too for the losers.


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