You say you want a relationship this year. (Of course, you say this every year.)
But that could be all talk and no foreplay if you’re not prepared to do anything about it.
That’s right, single person, we’re calling you out. And if you don’t want us to do it again in another 365 days, take note:
1. Say “Yes” to More Invitations
Unless the online world is more your thing (especially in the winter), if you want to find a relationship, you can’t afford to turn down social invitations unless you absolutely have to. Yes, even if it means a couple-filled dinner where you’re quite noticeably the 9th wheel – your friend’s new significant other may realize after chatting with you that they have just the perfect friend for you.
2. Make Room for One in Your Life
Not to get all self-help book on you, but if a sustainable relationship is (finally) what you’re looking for, then you need to make room in your life for one first. Between commitments in everything from cocktails to charity boards (not to mention your intense New Year fitness schedule), if it’s rare for you to have a free night in any given week as it is, how are you going to be able to start a relationship, let alone maintain one?
3. Put it Out There
If you’re looking for a relationship, own it without being weird about it. Don’t shy away from letting the girls or guys know that you’re in the market over brunch. While the single ones may be a tad disappointed (they can’t lose another partner in crime), the ones with better intentions will have you on their “single friend” radar.
4. Avoid the Unavailable
The easiest way to subconsciously avoid a relationship is to perpetually date those who are, for one reason or another, unavailable for the long haul. Wake up – that rarely works; these people are not changing. Instead, find someone who’s just as ready as you are right now.
5. Splurge on That Charity Ball Ticket
If you’re looking for a relationship, nights out can be totally depressing when the crowd was definitely a “miss” at the bar. Aside from a sprawling party that cuts no corners, the best part about a charity event is the young professional crowd it inevitably attracts, offering a curated selection of the city’s finest to choose from.
6. Don’t Obsess About it
The sure way not to find a relationship is to obsess over doing so. You know what’s not sexy? Desperation. Even if you think you hide it well, your date will practically smell it the first time you meet. And we don’t need to tell you that’s a total turnoff. Plus, if you obsess about it, you’ll be more likely to settle (shudder).
7. Adopt a New Passion or Hobby
No, we’re not suggesting you take up another precious evening of your week if your schedule is already too much to handle. But if you take up a hobby, it may inspire you to swap a needless night on the town in favour of it. If you haven’t made a valuable connection at a bar or club yet, odds are you’ll have better luck in a boxing or improve class.
8. Take a Break From Your “Party Friends”
Speaking of a big night on the town (for no other reason than the fact it’s Saturday night), if you’re looking for a relationship, you may want to take a break from your perpetually single party friends. Again, it’s about making room for a relationship in your life – not about making room in your bed for a one-night-stand after a night you’ll never remember.
9. Don’t Pretend
We’ve seen it more times than we can count. If you begin a relationship essentially playing the best version of yourself, or the person you think they want you to be, it’ll only go downhill when your true character begins to break through. That’s why it’s better to be shamelessly yourself from the very start – quirks, flaws, and amazingness. Otherwise, surprises down the road can lead to relationship suicide.