We’re all busy.
We get it. Seriously, when was the last time one of your friends said, “I just wish I had more going on – I have all this spare time in my life.”
Never. The answer is never.
But that doesn’t mean you don’t sometimes wish you’d stopped to take the appropriate time necessary to meet someone you felt a connection with.
Luckily, there’s a place where regrets go to live publically. Here are the best Craigslist Missed Connections we could find from the month of July in Toronto*.
You saw me watch you picking nose in Smartcar – m4w
Last night around 10, at a red light at King and Sherbourne, I was in the black truck and you were in the blue smart car beside me. I glanced over and saw you picking your nose – really digging – for a minute or so until you noticed me watching. I waved but you were obviously embarrassed. I am sorry for that. To be honest though, it’s something we all do (maybe just a little more discretely). So please, don’t be embarrassed. You were beautiful and bashful and I would love to get to know you.
Voyeurism just went to a whole new, even stranger, place.
I liked your man bun – w4m
Age: 25
We were on the same bus and subway and got off at the same station. I liked your man bun but was to shy to say anything.
If you read this tell me my hair color and what station we both got off at.
Not sure if talking about hair or butt…
EMMA – m4w
Age: 23 Body: Athletic Height: 5’3″ (160cm)
YOU ARE SO ATTRACTIVE. I HELPED YOU WITH SOMETHING. I SHOULD HAVE ASKED YOU FOR YOUR NUMBER.
WOULD LOVE TO TAKE YOU OUT FOR A DRINK.
MENTION WHERE YOU WENT SO I KNOW IT’S YOU.
Dude, why are you yelling so much? She can’t hear you through the Internet.
Cute girl outside Tryst nightclub – m4w
Body: curvy
Hello beautiful queen, I don’t frequent nightclubs often. Had lost all hope of ever finding that special someone, until I met you, puking outside Tryst. I offered you water with a shaky hand because you looked like an angel who fell out of heaven. An angel in a glittery mini skirt and fishnet stockings. My new age queen. You drank the water and thanked me. I walked with you and you puked some more. I’ll never forget your amazing ass. You are my other half. Please find this and tell me what I was wearing.
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best…”
– Every Tinder account ever.
Woody’s Bartender – m4m
Age: 28 Body: Average Height: 6’1″ (185cm) Status: single
You are a handsome man. Great at your job. Offered my choc milk. Your probably unavailable but I thought I’d try. Keep it up 😉
There are at least two euphemisms here, right?
Chat about ice cream – m4w
We made small talk at the check out at Shoppers – Danforth and Coxwell. Friday, 4:45pm or so.
I was buying ice cream, you bought eggs.
Was that just friendly small talk, or were you DTF?
Well, it certainly isn’t small talk anymore.
#Shout out to Toronto girls – m4w
Age: 35
Toronto Ladies you are so beautiful and sexy. I love the way you dress up. Most of you are fit with sexy body. I would like to date one of you one day soon. Keep up the sexiness.
We’re guessing this is the biggest number of missed connections ever found in one post…
What women really want – w4m
Is for a guy to be a real man with balls and approach them. I have never encountered a city where guys say they are “shy” and act like women. So you get rejected. Be a man. 1 out of 10 will be interested.
Where are the real men?
We’ve never asked, we’re too shy.
Parrots Nest – m4w
OMG. You are one of the most beautiful girls and sexiest I’ve seen in a long time. You are the white girl dancing.
Well that really narrows it down.
Huge muscle dude on the subway – m4m
Age: 24
Hey man. Saw you on the subway today. You were with a friend, black t-shirt, and shorts, and literally the most built guy I’ve ever seen. Obviously you work hard at it and I couldn’t help take notice. Doubt you’d be into anything (unless you have a thing for scrawny guys, heh) but thanks for making my day ;))
We’ve seen him. He was wearing this t-shirt, right?
For a man with hands forged by different stars – w4m
Here’s to not missing the connection, but to blindly, unexpectedly, delightfully crashing right into it.
Omnia Causa Fiunt
If we don’t get it does that mean we’ve missed the connection or that we just don’t speak Latin?
I was stabbed protecting you almost 20 years ago – m4w
Obviously, this is the most epic title ever written. But it’s a long post – you can find it here if you have the time.
*Any changes that have been made were done so purely for grammatical reasons so as to be easier to understand.
#NOTABLE
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