A healthy social life is a vital ingredient in the balanced 360-degree young professional existence. We pride ourselves in retaining most of the friends we ever made in childhood, university and our YP lives. Sometimes, nobody understands you better than “the girls” or “the guys,” and they provide a welcoming haven and open ears to offer advice, share laughter, gossip and even a passionate vent. There are certain topics, however, that should be approached with caution, even with your closest counterparts.
Income:
Even if you share almost any other piece of information with your friends, there is no need to ask about how much they make, how much of a pay increase their promotion granted, or what their Christmas bonus is. This rule especially applies as our careers gain traction and influence. We may have shared how much we made in tips bartending the night before with our girlfriends while in university, but numbers and figures concerning your blossoming career should generally be kept to yourself.
What they paid for X:
On the same token as the income, be weary of asking friends how much they paid for their homes, renovations, or lavish vacations. This especially applies to the married friend, as it involves not only his or her money and spending habits, but that of their significant other as well. It is one thing asking a girlfriend how much she paid for a killer pair of boots or her highlights, but quite another to ask how much her wedding cost (and who paid for it, for that matter).
Confidential Workplace info:
Even if you trust your friend more than anything, it is never a good idea to ask or reveal the details of a top-secret campaign, workplace politics or confidential budgets. It puts the other person in an awkward situation and actually could compromise their job. Not to mention there is no reason they should need to know that information. Most of the time, they are inquiring for their own self-interest, to make their own comparisons to their job, or for unproductive inside gossip.
Their Parenting:
We can’t imagine how difficult it must be to have children or even an animal for that matter and appreciate those YPs who mange to find a balance between their own life and someone else’s. We have all been in situations with friends and strangers when you just want to scream “control your child!” or “shut your dog up!” It is never a good idea to criticize, negatively comment on, or offer parenting advice to fellow YPs, especially if it is not asked for and you are not a parent yourself. Never.
Their Family:
Sure, you can vent about your siblings, mom or dad to your friends all you want, but the second they say something unfavourable about them, even if they’ve known your family for years, it can sometimes feel like getting a needle. Just because you called your sister a selfish snob doesn’t mean that they have the authority to as well. It is one thing to offer constructive advice, and diplomatically address alleged character flaws of your family members, but never to put them down, no matter how mad we may be at them at the moment.
Faults of their Current Partner:
For the same reasoning as above, don’t put down or make fun of your friend’s significant other in an unconstructive way. This can get tricky, because it is usually our friends who we turn to for relationship advice, to cry over heartbreak, and to vent. At the same time, no matter how angry you may be with your boyfriend or girlfriend, try to refrain from painting them as a monster to your friends. Chances are, you’ll forget that horrible thing they said in the heat of an argument quicker than your friend will.
Their Ex:
There are very few situations in which a friend wants to – or feels the need to – hear about their ex, no matter how amicably the relationship dissolved. If we wanted to hear about their new job, their new relationship (no matter how sub-par our trusted friends remind us that their new “catch” is) or their broken arm, we’d message them ourselves…or at least creep their Facebook profile. If you run into an ex of one of your friends, it is usually a good idea keep it to yourself because, really, what’s the point?
Appearance:
Although we don’t have too many friends like this, we have experienced the select few throughout our lives who are quick to make comments on our physical appearance. The worst is the friend who includes you in speaking negatively about themselves like “those jeans wouldn’t look good on either of us because we are both bottom heavy.” Um, speak for yourself. Even worse, is the criticism directed solely at the other person. Most appearance-conscious YP females are aware when they’ve gained weight, when their roots are bad, or when they are wearing a dress from three seasons ago – their friends need not point it out. For the guys, though they may not admit it, nothing erks a YP male more inside then being ridiculed for their hair or clothes by “the guys.”
Gossip about other friends in your circle:
This should really go without saying for the YP, as we would like to think we left this behind in the days of three-way calling tricks in high school (ladies know what we are talking about). Even though our friends don’t engage in this behavior, we are always shocked to witness it happening within other groups of YP girls and guys alike. Although never constructive, even if speaking of someone you barely know, it seems hypocritical to banter about those who have been there for you though laughter, tears and adventure, especially to mutual friends. Furthermore, if you are in an argument with a friend, keep mutual friends out of it.