Canadians are going hard on coffee, alcohol and pregnancy tests

Remember that viral Kitty O’Meara poem which optimistically suggested the pandemic would cause people to slow down and reflect and heal and all that?

Well, nah.

People are just as keen to indulge in their cravings as ever. More so, actually.

According to Statistics Canada, Canadians are going harder than ever on booze, caffeine, and condoms. It should come as no surprise, then, that pregnancy test sales are also up.

“The way Canadians are making purchases at grocery stores can provide some insight into the way they are sustaining themselves and their families, and spending their time at home,” reads the report.

Some insight: they are sustaining themselves on caffeine, spending their time at home drinking, and trying not to grow their families.

Alcohol sales increased 76% in the third week of March compared to the same time last year.

Sales of coffee filters increased 68% in the week leading up to April 11 compared to the same period a year ago.

Condoms, contraceptives and lubricant sales jumped 41% in the third week of March. Pregnancy tests were also

While alcohol and coffee filter sales remained high throughout April, condom and contraceptive sales moved back toward historic levels.

It’s too early to tell if Kitty O’Meara’s outlook for humanity will come true. More certain is that our increased boozing and short-lived enthusiasm for condoms will result in a coronavirus baby boom.

Stay tuned for Statistics Canada’s report on the matter in early 2021.