In an age of seemingly limitless options (thanks to a new dating app that launches pretty much every week), “ghosting” has, sadly, become a common theme on the modern dating scene.
For those unfamiliar with the term, it refers to more than the usually innocent enough “Irish goodbye” during a night on the town. When it comes to dating, “ghosting” means ending communication with someone you’re dating without an official breakup or goodbye, or ignoring someone’s attempts at communication in hopes that they’ll get the message.
One second he or she can be totally ingrained in your life (and in your text message history), and the next, they’re gone…just like a ghost. Sometimes, “ghosting” isn’t always so abrupt: it can be done slowly with the dwindling of texts, “likes,” and invites to hang. Either way, it never feels particularly great to be the one on the receiving end of “ghosting,” as you’re left wondering what went wrong (and why the other person couldn’t just tell you wtf happened).
In the past two weeks, two of my single girlfriends have been rudely ghosted by the guys they were dating. And, I admit, it was easier for me to ghost on the last guy I was dating before I met my boyfriend than it was to explain that I had unexpectedly fallen for someone else. And no, it’s not something I’m proud of, especially after hearing the pain and annoyance it caused my girlfriends.
Not that it makes it any better, but I’m definitely not alone in my option to “ghost” out of a “seeing each other” situation.
As cowardly as it sounds, the stats show that “ghosting” is actually a go-to relationship-ender for young people. According to a 800-person survey by dating site Plenty of Fish, nearly 80 per cent of respondents (aged 18 to 33-years-old) reported to being dumped by someone who cut off all communication without any explanation.
Of course, “ghosting” takes on a whole new significance when you’ve actually been in a relationship with the other person (as opposed to simply “dating”). But, as everyone knows, sometimes the whole “labelling” of a relationship can present blurred lines and a slippery slope as to what the two of you even are.
The survey found that ghosting can be partially attributed to the ease at which people can be replaced with a swipe in the right direction: 15 per cent of those surveyed reported having scheduled multiple dates in one night. Likely, they were also armed with multiple excuses.
The survey didn’t offer any evidence to support whether one gender guiltier of ghosting – just that it’s definitely happening (and not just to you).