You discovered pre-drinking in your teens, but you were “too cool” then to try pairing your alcohol with what you should have been consuming at that age: candy. So tonight before hitting one of many epic bashes going on across your city, get your costume ready right by trying these suggested marriages of two of your tastebuds’ best buds.
Bourbon + Kit Kat, Mars, Butterfinger
Riesling/Gewurztraminer + Candy Corn, Starburst, Fuzzy Peaches
Brown Ale/Porter + Oh Henry, Reese Peanut Butter Cups, Snickers
Malbec/Cab Sauv + Twix, Hershey’s Milk Chocolate, M&M’s
IPA/Pilsner: Twizzlers, Hot Tamales, Candy Corn
Jolly Ranchers + Vodka: You might have to get an earlier start on this, or save it for tomorrow night’s vampire costume, but it will be worth it. Grab an 8 oz glass flask, mason jar or similar, fill it with vodka and add 10-12 of the cherry variety and wait. Give it eight-ish hours to fully dissolve, then a bit of time in the freezer and you have yourself a super sweet, bloody, boozy beverage to bring to that house party.
And were you trying to be the “cool adults” by stocking up on full chocolate bars and trendy candy, but now regret skipping the classic Tootsie Rolls? Make your own in a glass by mixing Root Beer and Kahlua. Just trust us.
Tip: if you’re trying to make a good impression on your new neighbours and their kids, maybe try a 3:1 candy:drink ratio. If you’re still living the dream in condoland, you do your thing. You’ll feel a lot better about getting on transit in that Rob Ford costume.