Attractive Blonde White Girl is Swamped With Job Offers After Complaining She Can’t Find Work

Here’s a sound strategy for attractive white girls who can’t find work in world-class cities filled with abundantly more talented individuals in your industry: complain about it in the press.

That’s what 25-year-old Kiwi Alex Hazlehurst did yesterday when the New Zealand Herald published a story about her personal struggle to find a job in London for some reason. Hazlehurst, who somehow lived in one of the world’s most expensive cities for five months without a permanent job, littered her tale with such revelations as “I’m irrelevant in a city of nine million people” and “London is not what it was 10 or 20 years ago.”

She even had to work temporarily at a luxury fashion company while scouting her dream broadcasting job.

Her resume featured marginal experience in an industry that’s notoriously difficult to find work in, in a country with half the population of London, and she was banking on some strange notion that companies in the U.K. preferred Kiwis over Brits – which she quickly determined to be a myth.

One of her only discernible skills, by her own admission, is that she “can charm the pants off the 60-something-year-old Italian who makes me my daily coffee.”

It’s really no surprise, then, that companies weren’t clamouring for Hazlehurst’s signature in one of the most competitive markets on earth.

What she did have, though, was a considerably large media outlet willing to publish a whiny rant about a talented, hardworking – self-appointed traits, by the way – princess who, perhaps most importantly, was blonde. (I’m talented. I’m hard-working. I’m blonde. So why can’t I find a job in London? reads the headline of her article).

In just one day, Hazlehurst became the most coveted asset in London.

Since the piece was published and scorned by those forced to dwell in the trenches of the real world, she has received  job offers, heard from families offering a place to stay in the southwest of England if she needed a break, and been in touch with Kiwis living in London who just wanted to meet for a coffee to chat.

“Kiwis come over here with rose-tinted glasses, which is what I did, and I just wanted to say – ‘hey this is the reality’,” says Hazlehurst, surely the first of nearly 10,000 Kiwis who move to Britain annually to have this breakthrough.

Armed with a permanent position in her field and plenty of options, she can now safely say, “London really is the greatest city in the world.”

Blondes really do have more fun privilege.