Apparently Groomsmen Have it WAY Better Than Bridesmaids

When someone says, “I’m getting married and I’d like you to be in my wedding party,” different people have different reactions. 

Some are surprised by the offer, some are honoured at the privilege, and some are confused as to why two people who fight literally all the time and barely acknowledge each other in public would ever agree to spend indeterminately more time together and assume further obligations to both one another and the law. 

But perhaps more significantly, there’s a good chance you’re stressed out and stumped as to how you’re going to participate in the wedding and not be on welfare by the end of the year… that is, if you’re on the ladies’ side of the aisle.

From what we’ve been hearing and reading, a lot of women find Bridesmaidery (yes, we made up that word) to be a rather demanding business. Between dresses, showers, gifts, make-up and partying, bridesmaids are often spending countless hours and at least $1500 per wedding. And apparently it takes a social toll too; one study from the UK found that about 30% of brides admit to no longer being friends with at least one of their bridesmaids as a result of feuds and disagreements during the time leading up to the big day.

But you know who doesn’t seem to have many of those problems? 


In fact, based on our experience, being a groomsmen is one of the best gigs around.

You don’t really plan anything unless you’re the best man. Even then the responsibilities are far from complicated and it’s rarely a tough crowd to please; get alcohol, get food, get lodgings, get strippers, facilitate gambling. Done. Aside from that, show up a bit early, let someone take photos of you botching a Double-Windsor, and then get drunk for the ceremony.

All the guests are expected to buy a gift for the couple, but as a groomsmen, you receive a gift. And it’s usually fantastic! We’ve seen monogrammed jump suits, golf balls and whiskey flasks, designer ties, gym bags and all kinds of handy stuff. And we haven’t even touched on all the free food and booze you get just for being a pal and showing up.

And of course bachelor parties can be expensive, but is there anything better for hilarious memories and doing stuff that may or may not be illegal in Utah?

We recently came across an illustrated tally of bridesmaid expenses and decided it would be a good idea to make our own version for groomsmen. We’re not sure if men are more naturally inclined to consider “value” in a financial analysis, but our statement looks quite a bit different…

Bridesmaids, we’re sorry the menu isn’t the only thing bittersweet about weddings for you. Maybe it’s a matter of tradition, maybe it’s a matter of gender, or maybe it’s a matter of perspective – but whatever it is, it seems like groomsmen definitely get the most out of the “party” in wedding party. 


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