Almost a Third of All Calls to 911 Are Butt Dials

Don’t ask how one’s butt has the capacity to dial 911 and press ‘call’, but it does. And it’s a major problem.

Research from Google has revealed that butt dials – which include any inanimate object, such as a purse or pocket, making a phone call without human direction – account for 30 per cent of all wireless calls to 911 received during a particular window of time.

“Dedicated and hard-working public safety officials who answer and respond to Americans in times of need are being inundated by accidental wireless calls to 911,” said FCC Commissioner Michael O’Rielly. “If my anecdotal experiences are remotely accurate, it would mean that approximately 84 million 911 calls a year are pocket dials.”

84 million irritating calls! These are emergency workers, people, not your cable provider.

These accidental calls are putting a significant strain on emergency dispatchers who have to communicate with the callers to see what the hell is going on. Namely, whether there’s actually an emergency or if the call was made by a butt.

The average amount of time wasted per call is one minute and 14 seconds, which is incredibly valuable considering it delays response to real matters of life or death.