9 Reasons Why You’re Failing at Online Dating

You probably say this all the time: “online dating sucks,” “there are no good people online,” “I can’t get anyone to reply to me”. 

It’s no wonder with thoughts like this that your online dating strategy isn’t working. Yes, online dating may seem tough, but you’re going to have to deal with its sticking around-ness

So instead of getting mad, follow these tips and develop those online dating skills…

Your Profile Sucks – We can’t say it any nicer. Having a bad profile is the equivalent of going to a job interview without deodorant on. You might have amazing qualifications, but if no one can get near you, you’re shooting yourself in the foot. Be sure to fill out your profile completely, and use recent photos. Try to make your profile upbeat and honest, and avoid being negative.


You’re Too Picky – No one should settle, we get that. The problem is you need to be picky about the right things. Things like looks, job, location, etc. change over time; what doesn’t change is the character of someone, their morals, values, and core beliefs. So next time you’re being picky, try to be picky about the right things and settle on the things that really won’t matter anyway.

You’re Blind to What’s in Front of You – A lot of people completely ignore those that have looked at their online profile. If someone has clicked on your profile, they’re at least a little interested. So why not use it to your advantage? Send these people a message first before sending out messages to others. You might just find what you’re looking for when you least expect it. Be open to meeting someone new, even if they might not be exactly the photo in your head.

You’re Looking at the Wrong Time – Though most people have a dating app active on their phone, they aren’t always looking and responding every minute of the day. However, there are peak times people are online: lunch time, right after work, and later in the evenings after seven o’clock. 

Young beautiful woman lying in bed and texting sms, lifestyle concept

Young beautiful woman lying in bed and texting sms, lifestyle concept

You Only Talk Online – Are you having amazing online conversations that flow back and forth like poetry? Great, now get offline. It may sound scary and daunting to actually ask someone out for a coffee, but the alternative is just having a banter buddy. This won’t go anywhere.

You’re Wasting Time – Unfortunately, a lot of people online aren’t actually available. They might have just got out of a relationship, have no idea what they want, or are not emotionally mature enough to have the kind of relationship you’d like. So how do you figure this out sooner than later? Start by noticing more of what they don’t say or do.


You’re Always Changing Your ProfileUpdating your profile with great new photos of you once in a while is a good idea. However, constantly updating your profile with new information can be overwhelming and confusing. Most people will visit your profile at least twice during their dating journey, and if they visit you a second time to read something completely new, it leads to less credibility.

You’re Too Needy – You need to KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid) if you want to get a kiss. Most people don’t like to read long paragraphs from people they don’t know. Use a simple sales technique: focus on the other person, not you. Send out two sentence messages and ask them a question. Questions get more responses than just sending out information. Once you get a response, ask more questions; this is how conversations are started.

You’re Not Prepared – So you’ve got your profile fired up and are asking questions and getting responses. Now what? There’s a big step between meeting and dating. Are going on a lot of first dates but are  unsure what to do afterwards? Take the time to be honest with yourself. Be prepared to have to say no to people that aren’t a good fit even if it might hurt their feelings. The sooner you stop wasting time, the quicker you can find what you are really looking for.

So there you have it, an easy to digest formula for success. Now get swiping.