Every holiday season, we have a access to millions of ads, commercials, emails and commission-deficient retail monkeys suggesting what we buy as gifts for our favourite acquaintances. Given how little these people actually know of our lives and how much we already have on our plates in December, just as valuable would be more suggestions on how we buy the gifts for those very acquaintances; guidance at a broader, more strategic level.
Here are 9 practical holiday shopping tips to ensure that you get all your gifts wrapped efficiently and effectively heading down that final stretch – without crashing while you try to drive the sleigh…
Spend at Least 30 Minutes Making a List
Hey, if it works for Santa and old people in grocery stores, it’ll work for you too. Don’t wing it. Walking around praying for aimless inspiration is a recipe for scrambling, and it’s almost the exact opposite of thoughtfulness. Jot down all the people, spend some real time thinking about what they’ll like, and store it all in your phone so you can edit and update anytime.
Aim for At Least 33% Online
Once you have a draft of your list, take advantage of what could reasonably be classified as “magic” and click your way through at least a third of your target merchandise. Most gifts you’ll pick are available online, you can knock out a ton of stuff in one sitting, and if you can avoid the traffic and the crowds by having it all delivered, well hey, that’s a Christmas miracle on its own.
Dedicate and Plan TWO Separate Days for On-Site Purchasing
You always think you’re going to get it done in one day… and you’re always wrong. Breaking it up into two smaller segments encourages the design of cleaner, faster and more psychologically manageable itineraries. Even though time is tight, play the long game. If you have the chance to shorten it up, great.
This Weekend, Hit the Malls Right When They Open
I know, all you can think about on most December weekend mornings is barfing into a stocking. I also drink way too much wine and way too much egg nog every night of the holidays. But if you roll into the malls right as the doors open, I promise you that you will shave at least 15% off your total shopping hours. That buys you a lot of time for hangover naps.
Chill on the Gifts for the Kids
I’m not being a Grinch. I’m being realistic. Everybody always spends tons of time and tons of money loading up on gifts for kids that already have way too much sh*t they won’t know existed three months from now anyway. This year, try chilling a bit on the child goodies (you don’t have to cut them out completely) and be absolutely certain the parents get something more exciting than someone finishing their broccoli.
Don’t Worry About Cards; Nobody Cares About Cards
They’re dead. Let them go. People barely get wedding invitations anymore, let alone care if you capture, “Happy Holidays and <Insert Lame Inside Joke>” in writing. All the thoughtfulness and formality you need is right there in that carefully considered gift. Unless you’re inconspicuously sliding someone a cheque or you’re hilarious enough to give someone lottery tickets (i.e., nothing), leave the ink in the pen and keep your eyes on the prize.
Don’t Hate on Gift Certificates and Subscriptions
People love money and they love stuff that just keeps happening for free. Most businesses – from restaurants to maid services to gun ranges – offer gift certificates now, so you can get as generic or as personal as you want going that route. As for subscriptions, the concept might be old school, but the new school has taken over with monthly access to anything from television shows and jazz concerts to endless subscription boxes for beauty products, beer, dog toys and more. These are two areas in which you really can’t go wrong.
Contingency Plan: Buy a Whole Case of Wine
Inevitably, you will forget someone or you will run out of time, ideas or both. You’ll also realize that you should have a gift for each person who’s invited you to their holiday party. What you need is an efficient contingency plan. Wine is that contingency plan. Stop the bleeding before it begins: go to the liquor store right now, and rather than doing it piecemeal, grab a full case of a good wine so you don’t run out of ammo.
Don’t Buy Anyone a F***ing Juicer
For the love of Christ himself, DO NOT BUY A JUICER FOR ANYONE YOU LIKE. No matter how healthy someone wants to be, their nutrition ambitions are no match for the hell that is cleaning a juicer. You need four hours and a degree in civil engineering just to get a carrot shred off a micro-mesh. Don’t worry – between blenders and the eight million cold-press juice shops now open in Canada, you can find something else. Something for which they’ll actually thank you in six months.
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