Have you ever bought a pair of shoes that you let sit in the box for weeks while you waited for a perfectly pristine day to finally unleash them on your city’s grubby concrete floor?
We’re not just talking Sex and the City nice – we mean footwear that wouldn’t look out of place behind a velvet rope at the MoMA.
Well, we imagine these 9 designs are as close as you can come to letting some of the world’s most renowned artists become shoe designers instead…
1. Timberland Multicolored Boot
Despite seemingly reaching its apex a decade ago, Timberland’s managed to stay relevant through the years. Not many companies can put a Picasso on a boot.
2. The Mojito Shoe
Part avant-garde park bench, part modern bottle opener, apparently this is a shoe. Foot plate-free since 2010.
3. Lucila Iotti
These are so outrageous(ly awesome) that you’ll probably want to house them in a glass case instead of on your feet.
4. T&F Slack Shoemakers London (Vlad 320)
These are amazing if you like to treat your shoes like a colouring book. They’re made-to-order, allowing you to choose from a rainbow of colours for each panel.
5. Marieka Ratsma x Kostika Spaho
If they don’t fit nice, at least you have a great candleholder. Interesting fact: the heel is inspired by a bird’s skull.
6. Adidas Springblade
If you ever wondered what it’s like to have the mechanics of nine Oscar Pistoriuses strapped to each foot, these are for you. But we couldn’t imagine the despair of realizing you’ve stepped in dog crap…
7. Bernhard Willhelm x Camper
We wouldn’t have guessed either, but these are labeled as men’s shoes. We imagine they feel something like walking on the moon.
8. Abigail Lorick Oxfords
Matching your shoes to your outfit has never been easier. You better ace your sock game.
9. Whatever These Are
So these are insane. If we had to pick between going to the dentist and guiding our feet through this labyrinth of a design, we know what we’d choose. At least they look nice from the outside…